Raina's Retreat

Rough Day

2011-07-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

Saturday started out perfect. We were going to spend the day with Great Grandma, go out to eat, and shopping. I even got to get ready all by myself that morning thanks to my wonderful husband. I took my time and felt great! On the way to Grandma's House I glanced in my rear view mirror and smiled at my kids. Meri was staring out the window with her first two fingers hanging on her pucker. Bry was playing his DS as happy as can be.
We arrived and headed inside for a few minutes before we left for lunch. Meri asked for a cookie like she always does and Bry eyed Grandma's rolling sit/stand walker. He was pushing Meri around, I had just said "Bry if you want to push her you must go slow or she could tip over. Next thing I new he pushed fast and let go, she crashed into an all wood rocker. I was steps away and lifted him out of the way, when I picked her up I said "Grandma, lots of blood!" Now if you know me, you know that I tend to panic, especially when one of my babies get hurt. I knew it was bad, blood was everywhere, and I could see through her lip.
It looks small. But when she cries it gapes open and you can see her gums. Of course I was comforting her when she was crying, so I didn't get a picture. I call my husband and headed to the ER. I was crying just as much as she was. Bry was crying because he didn't mean to hurt her. And Grandma was trying to calm everyone. All the crying caused it to tear more. By the time we got to the hospital it went all the way to the bottom of her lip. We pieced together all that had happened and realized it was the rocking chair that had gone through her lip and busted the top lip as well.

As much blood as there was and as big as the whole was, the ER wasted no time and had us right into the laceration room. The doctor came in and ordered sedation for Meri. I was informed that once the shot was given it would take 30 minutes to take effect. I was comforting my crying baby and within 60 seconds she went from crying to stoned faced, blank, noiseless breathing, drooling. I honestly thought something was really wrong, I thought she was dying, she just lay with her eyes partially open and motionless. The nurse called the doctor (who thought he had 30 minutes) and things started happening really fast. I stood at the edge of the bed rubbing her hair the whole time and knowing she could hear me, I talked to her the whole time. My biggest concern was that the shot impaired her ability to display emotion and that she could feel it all but couldn't tell us. As he got to the inside of her lip she began making sounds 'uhhhh'. It just killed me. I'm almost positive that she felt the last three stitches. After 8 stitches total in my little 26 lb, 2 year old girl.

Here she is after her procedure. I changed her diaper and her clothes, the nurse and I wrapped her in warm blankets since she was shaking cold coming out of anesthesia.

And she settled down for a nap after all that trauma while still hooked to monitors to watch her heart rate and pulse-ox. The doctor checked on her and told the nurse that the band aide wasn't appropriate for her chin, so now she dones tape and gauze with medicine.

She's resting now and it seems that she may sleep through the night tonight. All of this is a small drop in the bucket compared the grand scheme. But I'm thankful for praying and answered prayer. Not to mention, my incredible Grandma, wonderful Husband, and great friend for coming to get my son.

Friday the stitches will come out!

Summer Time

2011-06-14T19:31:00.001-07:00

Birthday Celebrating!

Me, 30!

Bry, 6!

Creative Movement Dance Class Dancing!

Baseball watching!

Pony Tail wearing (1st time)

Summer Time

A month to Share

2011-06-08T23:32:00.000-07:00

For Mother's Day I had Little M professionally photographed. At the end of June we are having both kids and single shots of my son! I can't wait!

I've taken on the job of a summer helper at one of my friend's home daycare. Which translates to, my kids get free entertainment, and I get to play with cute little babies! After only one week of working I'm on vacation because the owner is on vacation! Ha! Next week I will work and then I'll be off for another week to volunteer at my church's VBS. I loved VBS as a kid and now I get to share it with my own children.

A baby BOOM has taken place across my Facebook page! It's so great to see people that I grew up with have their own family. At the same time, I'm saddened by friends that were killed at a younger age.

My anxiety/depression is pretty much stable. Most days are good. Even better now that severe weather has subsided. My town was struck with an EF1, that same tornado went on and destroyed another town, Denten, where it had obviously strengthened. My heart goes out to all those that were lost.

LOL

2011-05-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Recently my mom has joined the world of texting. I'm getting a lot of text from her as she practices her new found talent.
I asked my mom this past Sunday if I could have her newspaper for the ads and coupons (as I attempt to delve into couponing). Here is how our text conversation went:

So, this morning I called my mom up and said "Mom, what does LOL mean?" She says "Lots of Love". Awe, the sweet innocents of a parent learning to text. I educated her on the 'real' meaning just in case she gets a text that someone has died, I'd hate for her to reply with "Oh, I'm so sorry. LOL"

Goals for May

2011-05-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

April showers bring May flowers! However, the rain clouds didn't get the memo. I don't think it has stopped raining once for 48 hour straight!
So, we have been spending a lot of time inside and Spring Fever is spreading like wildfire. As I was doing laundry (never ending) I got to thinking, thinking about my laziness. I've been in a funk lately. I'm overwhelmed by this messy house and I just feel like throwing in the towel. But I don't have a clean one to throw! ha
Time for me to get out of the funk and not only set goals but achieve them! For this month I'm going to think of 5 achievable goals.
1. I'm going to read Water for Elephants. I have had the book for a while but never actually read it.
2. Spring clean my kitchen/dining area including the over loaded pantry that also doubles as my craft closet.
3. I've faithfully attended our Beth Moore Bible Study meetings, but this time around I didn't do the homework, so I plan on getting at least the first two weeks of homework done with a fine tooth comb.
4. Get at least one purse made. I haven't been in the mood to sew much lately, but I have a purse promised to a friend I hold dear, so I shall get my hands, scissors, and sewing machine in gear!
5. Write at least 5 letters to my little brother. He is going to be gone for a while. I don't know how long, but I want him to know that wherever he is, his sister loves him no matter what. Even though he aggravates my every nerve.

"Can I pick a flower Mom?"

2011-04-26T14:48:00.000-07:00

My Grandma has beautiful roses in the front of her house. B-man asked if he could pick some for his Aunt Sarah, Emma, and cousin Whitney. I was really glad he asked instead of just picking without permission.

GiGi demonstrated the proper way to clip a rose. And we were sure to thank him for asking and to remember to always ask the owner before picking any flowers.

One a side note: I grew up next to a beautiful Catholic Church and school. In front of the church offices which also doubles as the home of the priest there were always beautiful roses and hydrangeas. And I helped myself to their flowers ALL the time. he he. :)

Going for a Drive

2011-04-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

Meri just loves those boys! Here she is on a drive with her friend Jon. Jon's mom and I are good friends and we enjoyed being pregnant together. The kids are just 8 days apart.

Remember When?

2011-04-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Remember when storms whether mild or severe where the perfect sleeping weather? These days, when a storm comes through Tornado Alley this is where you will find us.

Now, it's all about keeping these two safe!

Better than Planned

2011-04-13T13:37:00.001-07:00

What did I have planned?

Watch a friend's daughter while strolling around the mall for about an hour, then going home to clean and probably nap!

A really good friend of mine needed me to watch her son, which happens to be Little M's favorite person! She needed to get to the hospital where her sister-in-law is in Premature Labor with twin boys which are the babies she is carrying for another couple who needed a surragant! (Such a selfless thing to do for someone! What a blessing!) So I got to hang out with these two wonderful children! We played outside, played inside, sang songs and read books! They laughed and conversed non-stop! Where one would go...the other was quick to follow! My day was BETTER than PLANNED!
Hope you have a great Wednesday!

Can and Can't

2011-04-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

Carpal Tunnel

Today I saw a Musculoskeletal Doctor after a two month wait about the pain in my wrist which has been diagnosed officially as CPS (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome)
The first experience I had with this was during my pregnancy with Little M. I had no idea that CPS was a side effect of pregnancy, but, it was. Nothing and I mean NOTHING can be done about it while one is pregnant, all treatment options aside from wearing splints, are dangerous for baby. How I dealt with it for so long is beyond me! I've decided that I can handle pain OR depression but when coupled together it becomes more than I can or want to bare. I was really surprised that this doctor also has a depression disorder and completely understood. He also understands my need to be lucid with two children therefore limiting medications I can take. So after X-rays and some tests, we determined that CPS is what is going on and (I'm not in any hurry for surgery, although that is the only known cure) he would proceed with Cortisone Shots directly in the wrist leaving me with numb thumbs and fingers (all but the pinkie) for 4 to 6 hours. The shot wasn't bad at all, having a nurse not be able to find a vein is TEN times worse. But, I've had to pay close attention to my hands, as I DO have motor function!, I just can't feel it! So it goes like this; look at hand, have brain tell fingers what to do and watch to make sure that your fingers are indeed cooperating. But in hilarity, here are things I CAN DO, Hard to do, or just CAN'T do.
CAN:
forgo using hot pad holders when retrieving dinner from the oven (JK)
have relief from an annoying hang nail
have a contest with my son on how hard he can thump without me realizing it!
text using only my pinkie!

CAN,T:
unbottoning my pants was out of the question, thank goodness I wore some baggie ones today
take off the over-the-shoulder-bolder-holder
cook a real meal, as the danger of burning is VERY high when your mind is easily shifted for the task at hand (pun intended) with two little ones
writing is NOT an option
Stick your hand down the disposal to retrieve sippy spout plug

HARD TO DO:
Fill my poor thirsty girl's sippy cup (HURRY UP MOM)
getting my daughter out of the car (this is nearly impossible, but I couldn't leave her there!)!
Open the frozen pizza box
Ever tried to change a diaper when you can't feel your hands? Those pesky tabs are so darn small and temperamental!
remove hair clip

I'm sure you can just imagine every other variable with numb hands! Hopefully these shots work, so if you see me around, I'll have a splint on each hand that I have to wear for a week! Because I do not want surgery, I'll take the doctors orders:)

What Next?

2011-03-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

"When it rains, it pours!" "Murphey's Law" "The Straw that broke the Camel's back" Wow, is all I can say. My goal to write only about positive things, in order to view life in a more positve outlook. Here's a breakdown for the last 2 weeks.
-A week ago Wednesday as I was getting ready for church, I was over come with severe pain in my stomach area. I immediately started vomiting. When J got home he decided I needed to be in the hospital. Turns our I had 2 cist on my left ovary that burst!
-Two days later while getting my daughter ready I leaned across the bed and twisted my ankle. I heard and felt 2 LOUD cracks as I went down! I've never really broken a bone besides my toes that tend to jump out and hit furniture, so, I didn't really know what had happened. I put pressure on it, not to bad. Bending it? Out of the question. But B-man had a hair cut appointment. I sucked it up and drove him to get his hair cut. Then I went to Urgent Care with my mother. Turns out I dislocated a bone in my foot and it popped back in place causing lots of swelling and bruising. So, for over a week I've had a techno colored foot. Thankfully it just hurt the first couple of days. Now, it's fine.
-Then I started my monthly cycle. And month by month it is slowly getting more and more painful. I had surgery for this very reason last May. I think the adhesions are coming back. So, my doctors office had to medicate me.
-Present day! I'm dealing with Carpal Tunnel. It's so painful I can't get any relief. Now, the anxiety has kicked in and I'm having a lot of trouble controling it. This is terrible. But I will beat it! Tomorrow I've been directed to contact 3 different doctors! Prayers would be appreciated! We/I need answers, so I can go back to loving life.
My next post will be filled with everything positive. Thank you for puttering along with me! Have a great Spring Break!

Leightyn's Lifesong

2011-03-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

This past Tuesday at MOPS a fellow MOPS Momma spoke to our Grand group. Missy is an awesome woman of God, mother, and wife. She has been given a message to share with other parents through her family's story "Leightyn's Lifesong". If ever a five year old girl could touch so many lives, her Leightyn has. This happy and energetic family of four was forever changed when tragedy struck August 7, 2010 and an aggressive cancer took this five year old suddenly.

You can read their story at http://leightynslifesong.blogspot.com
Missy's message is life changing. It's something we all know, but seldom take at face value. "Make time to make memories" Your dishes can wait while you play with your child. That TV show is not important! If tragedy struck, would you have any regrets? Leightyn lived a full and exciting life with her mom, dad, and little sister. She loved Jesus with all her heart. I personally never saw Leightyn without a smile on her face.
Read thier story. Love God. Make every moment count.

The Sneaky One

2011-03-07T18:14:00.000-08:00

Ever since I have posted about my goal to stay positive, it seems like the world of Job is pressing down. I've been in the hospital with double-me-over gut wrenching pain and may or may not have broken my ankle (we'll know more when the swelling goes down) I know where it's coming from and I KNOW why!
I'm not seeking HIM the way I should, I'm not doing my bible study the way I should,and I'm focusing on worldly things. Just flat out! That mean ole' nasty devil is squirming his way in, just like the baby snake I found sneaking under my back door a couple of nights ago.
My daily verse today is "Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth" Colossians 3:2 How completely true, I really needed to read and dwell on that today.
I'm incredibly thankful for such a wonderful husband and family who have been there for me tride and true. And as I end this evening on a positive I decided to take a picture of one of my Wee-Little-One's and our snuggle time. She may be two, but I still can't seem to let her cry it out, so she and I watched The Bachelor together!

Lazy, Crazy, Lovely Dayz

2011-03-04T20:28:00.000-08:00

Hipocrit! Ha! I last posted about how it takes 10 positives to make up for 1 negative, and then I realized that I'm using this blog to just complain!!! I'm sure my intentions are pure but who wants to read negativity all the time? Not me! God has truely blessed my life so much that to relish and glorify Him, I need to appreciate the blessings that are right in front of me. And I'm thinking that if I want to have a record of memories, then I should probably RECORD those memories! So, I'm turning this blog around! Hope all 15 of my readers will stick with me!
This past week was 'Read Across America Week'. Each day my son's class got to dress up to celebrate the author Dr. Suess. Here is a picture of Crazy Sock Day. These cute 'socks' are actually a pair of MG's leggies from her newborn days! He loved it! And he also picked out that Hot Wheels shirt and tried to wear it the entire week! Pay no attention to the sloppy house or sloppy hair. B-man is getting his hair cut on Monday and well, my house never stays clean for to long.

Have a Fantastic and Rainy Weekend!!!

Long Time

2011-02-16T19:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I have posted. Why do I only come to post when things are bothering me? Things have been going pretty well. B-man is doing great in Kindergarten. And Little M is growing so fast and beautifully! I love our life. My biggest struggle right now is being on the other side of education! I don't want to ruffle feathers in my son's school. He has a great teacher, with a lot of experience. I have learned that when it comes to other's taking care of my child, I'm not always going to be pleased with everything. On our way to church tonight my son is asking me if his teacher will go to heaven. He wants her in heaven because he loves her and wants her to be in the same place he is going. He tells me that when he gets nervous he just has to give her a hug. He really loves and respects her. Later, on our way home, he says "Mom, I just want to be able to write a story, but I'm going to be in the low reading group, not the high one, so, I won't get to write or read well". My heart just plummeted! I never would have imagined shattering a kid's self-esteem like that. B-man is a great child, he wants to please everyone and he wants to be heard. He remembers everything and takes everything to heart. He is a smart, inquisitive kid! I'm not for one second concerned about his ability to read. I wasn't a great reader but I grew up to love reading. I may read slow compared to some, but it is because I want to think and relish over every sentence of a good book. I want to remember and apply information in a Non-fiction book. B-man will learn to read, he already reads a lot to me and he knows a lot of sight words. He can blend phonemes, segment, and sound out words. I could go on and on. So, it's not his ability I'm concerned with. I want build him up and I NEED to talk to his teacher. But I don't want to ruffle feathers and make his life miserable for the rest of his time at this school.

Full Circle

2010-12-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

Since becoming a Mom in 2005 and again in 2009 I feel like my experiences have brought me full circle. Life has given me a lot. At the time of my son's birth, well, I felt like life was over, I felt like I wasn't going to survive if I lost him. Now, I realize how fortunate we really were, how much worse it could have been. My heart has become tender for other moms who have struggled or lost. Especially this time of year.
Most recently,as I watched my son throw a huge tantrum. I stood back and just thought of how crazy he was acting. He's frustrated as he tries to grow into an individual. Five and half years ago, I thought the hospital was going to forever be our life. I now have a great appreciation of this stage in his life. And I say a prayer of thanks. Now, I have a respect for other moms that I didn't have before. Just like each child is precious and unique, so are each parent's style of parenting. I am just finding myself really really grateful. I've been given a heart for other parents. Being content when very little money is in the bank.
I find myself loving more and hating less. I will never regret this time with my children. My car is beat up, my clothes are old and some nights I feel really overwhelmed. But I'm learning everyday to appreciate it all.

Kelly's Korner!

2010-11-01T18:08:00.001-07:00

I love MOPS! And we were so blessed to have Kelly Stamps come and speak! She is so genuine and inspirational! I absolutely loved meeting her. And Little M got to play with her Harper! They got a long great. I'm so proud to be apart of such a wonderful group.

Update

2010-11-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

ER visit, walk-in visit, paralyzing. That describes my past couple of days. I want to be positive, so, I'll say it could be worse. I'd been doing really well with my anxiety/depression, no major breakdowns. Then, all of the sudden, after a major blessing (where's the trigger)things started to crash.
Friday:
I had B-man's parent-teacher conference.
I spent sometime with the kids playing outside at a friend's house.
I got called for an interview this coming Tuesday.
Got to go shopping for B-man's Halloween Costume.
That night things started going down hill. I was all of the sudden rigid, couldn't loosen up, lost motor control in my right foot and right hand. I was walking like I was in pain. But I wasn't. I was just very uncomfortable.
Saturday:
I had a break-down from trying to hold it together for so long. I couldn't figure out if I was having anxiety because of the symptoms or symptoms because of the anxiety. I went to a walk-in and the doctor there informed me I should be at the hospital, but she gave me some medicine and sent me on my way.
The medicine did nothing except make my mouth water.
Sunday:
I went to church, listened to several of my friends ask what was wrong even though I was really trying to hide it. But felt better after some great worship and a wonderful sermon. I even got my kids dressed for Halloween and took them with my husband to the festival. Also went trick or treating. Slept okay that night thanks to melatonin.
Monday:
I called my psychologist for a referral to a psychiatrist. I got into the clinic today and my awesome husband took off to go with me. Well, once I got there the clinician quickly said I needed to be in the ER. So, off to the ER with the clinician. The doctor there said it looked like I was having a side effect of something. They gave me a shot to loosen my muscles without having a side effect, so, I was able to drive myself home. I feel a little better, not totally like I would like though. He also gave me a prescription of a medicine to eliminate my body of the toxins that may be causing this. And now I am supposed to make a follow up with a NeuroPsychiatrist. Here is where I am. Here is where I'll be. At the same time my Lord and Savior can heal this or use it to His Glory. So, to Jesus be the Glory. I pray for miraculous healing so that I can be the mom, wife, and woman of God I'm meant to be. I really love our Lord and I'll forever trust in Him.

PS. A positive post coming. I got to meet Kelly Stamps for Kellyskornerblog! Such a blessing.

Grateful

2010-10-04T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a really tough day.
I have days when I can't imagine feeling that way again.
Then there are days when I can't imagine happiness again.
Today is one of those days.
I'm longing for the good; positive it will return.
For now...I cling to my daughter and hug my son and laugh with my husband
They are the reason I won't give up.
I'm grateful

Sickness

2010-09-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

I've been really bad about not posting pictures lately. I seem to always forget my camera.
Right now, as I type, there is a sick little boy trying to sleep on the couch, with a bowl close by his side. On our way home Friday night my son said from the back seat "I think I'm going to be sick" (I knew he wasn't joking) I looked at my husband and he just shook his head. I turned to my son and said "Do you think you can wait til we get home?" and his response was "Yes, mommy, I'll wait" (in such a sweet innocent voice I might add) Not FIVE seconds later he said "We need to pull over", in the most sickly voice he could muster to convey the urgency of the moment! We pulled over fast, but not fast enough (my husband was driving). He threw up everywhere, but was fine after that. He slept through the night and woke up happy. But after having a small sip of water he lost it again and again and again. No church for us on Sunday because he wouldn't have been 24 hours puke free. Now I know why they have that rule! Right at the 24 hour mark he started throwing up again!
I don't know how much you know about depression/anxiety but someone that has a mind like mine, full of what-if's and this could... Well, I'm a little on edge. Not having an attack so far but my mind is racing. So, I think I'll go do some more Beth Moore Bible Study and see if that can calm me down.

Had Another Good Day

2010-09-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to take my days as they come and not 'worry' about what is to come. Bills may not get paid (they do, eventually) but I can't worry about that. I have to get sane again. I may be living at my in-laws or my Grandma's when all is said and done, but hey, I'll have my family. J is awesome, loving, supportive, and completely busy all the time. A fishing extravaganza is coming soon for him and I'm so thrilled that he will get sometime to himself. He truly deserves it.
Today was a good day. I forgot to take my prozac this morning and was able to take a nap for a bit today. I haven't slept in weeks!!!! I've been shaky, so shaky, and I feel like I've got pop rocks jumping around in me. At any moment I'm going to take off on a marathon. But then that would reap havoc on my figure (think about.... now laugh with me. Ha Ha) So, now I'm wondering if prozac is the best for me. The last time I tried stopping it I had several meltdowns.
I think today was great because it started with a trip to Hobby Lobby, I love looking in there, even if I can't buy anything. Then had a play date at a local neighborhood park with Mops Moms and their kiddos. After I picked up B-man and got the great news that he had all Happy Faces. What are Happy Faces? That is how B-man's school rates behavior in each section of his day Classroom Behavior, Lunchroom Behavior, Recess Behavior, and Nap time Behavior. So we headed to Learning Oasis (had a gift certificate) then we got ice cream because B-man was also able to finish all his work without missing more than two. He missed one because he colored his "PURPLE" page RED! I think that was just a boy thing.
Hope you had a great day as well!

Not Me Monday...A little early

2010-09-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to spend more and more time with my children as individuals. So, after playing football with my son, he wanted to play "WEEEE"! While swinging him back from the couch I noticed the tied knot of his Khaki shorts. "Hmmm? That looks like Little M's capri pants!" So YES or NOT ME! I handed B-man his shorts this afternoon before going to the Grandparents Home (My kids have the best BEST grandparents and great grandparent) I handed my son a pair of 18 month capri pants of this sister's. And they FIT!!!! Barely snug on him and a little big on her! Oh my heavens. SO glad I didn't send him to school like that or church even!

4 am

2010-09-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

No one should ever have to see this time of night/morning! I'm awake and obviously can't sleep. So much fun. I'm cuddling with my 5 year old tonight and I can't believe how much room a 32 lb boy can take up. Well, I better get back to bed. I need to at least attempt to sleep and the 5 year old knows when I'm awake.

What I don't want my kids to know.

2010-09-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

I don't want my kids to know that I don't know how we are going to pay the house payment. I don't want them to know that we can't make some bills because their mother has to see a crazy doctor and take crazy medication. It's expensive being this crazy. I'm on 90mg of anti-depressant a day. All in an effort to cope with normal daily activity. J and I have a pact not to talk about finances around our children. We don't want them to know we are struggling. I want their lives to be uncomplicated. I want them to know how much they are loved and I want their bellies to be full. I should be in a puddle on the floor. A hyper-ventilating mess. But instead I'm typing this because well, with 90mg of anti-depressant... I have no emotion left. I feel lost and scared but I can't show it outwardly. I am thankful for the struggle because that means I have a life filled with blessings. I don't want my kids to ever know this struggle. I don't want them to know what it is like to spend over two hundred a month for a psychologist. We don't spend frivolously. We don't have cable, I don't go on expensive play dates, I don't eat out at all. The last McDonald's I had was when I was with my Grandma and she paid. My freezer is filled with .88 Banquet meals. And I have no idea how we can make a house payment. How we can keep the electricity on and how I will put gas in the car. I know we will survive. But I don't know how it will happen. I know God is in control and He loves us and knows our struggles. He tells us not to be anxious and not to worry where the next meal will come from. He also knows that we aren't in this situation because we blew money we didn't have. We haven't blown money at all. It's just expensive being crazy.

Advice Costs Less

2010-09-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

Worth Much More
This article I found hanging on my dad and step-mom's refridgerator! My step-mom has a way of always finding great things, be it; books, movies, clothes, funiture!
I can only take credit for enjoying this article and paraphrasing, it was written by Sharon Randall in the Southwest Times Record.

"Tips for How to Stay Married"
1. Listen to each other. Seek first to understand before trying to be understood. When you are wrong, say you are sorry. When you are right... SHUT UP!
2. Don't tie a half-hitch knot. Plan to stay married forever.
3. Never go to sleep angry. Keep talking until you get over it or forget why you were mad.
4. Laugh together. If you can laugh at yourself, it'll be easy.
5. Never embarrass, criticize or correct on another in public; try not to do it in private, either.
6. Don't expect perfection. It doesn't exist. If it did, it would bore you spitless.
7. Remember one of life's ironies: We are least lovable when we need love most.
8. On days when you don't like each other, try to remember that you love each other. Pray for the 'good' days to come again, then act as if they already have.
9. Tell the truth, only the truth, and always with great kindness.
10. Kiss for at least ten seconds everyday without fail; do it all at once or spread it out.
11. Examine your relationship often. Know it's vulnerabilities. Keep it moving in the direction you both want to go.
12. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally and never stop growing spiritually.
13. To love someone is to wish them the best; always wish each other nothing but the very best.
14. Never yell unless the house is on fire. Speak softly when you argue. Whisper when you fight. Keep it fair and show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they can never be taken back.
15. Be best friends, as well as lovers. In a blackout, share the flashlight. Then turn it off and make your own electricity.
16. Show by your actions as well as your words that the person you married comes first in your life. Let nothing and no one come between you.
17. Remember that your in love. Kiss in elevators. Hold hands in movies. Lock eyes in a crowded room. Say "your beautiful, and I love you." Then say it again.
18. Never miss a birthday or anniversary or a moment to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day you will treasure them.
19. Take care of business. Pay your bills. Mow the grass. And call your mother.
20. Open your home and your hearts to angels unaware. Teach Sunday School. Coach Little League. Feed the homeless. Talk to strangers. Make something beautiful of your life together.

Blast from the Past

2010-09-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

Today I went to a Ladies Breakfast at my church with the title "Leaving a Legacy". It was all about what we will leave behind and partly about writing out your life story including the good, the bad, and the ugly for our children and their children. I'm excited to get started on it. I hope as I delve into my past I will come to peace with somethings and be able to reset my life on forward.
Do you remember Popples? They are an 80's plush toy. I had this purple one and I still have it (not sure where though) Anyway, my house burned down to the ground in 1987, I was six years old, in the first grade, and class pictures were the next day (not good seeing as how my entire wardrobe burned in the fire). I had been with my dad for a visit and it was time for him to take me home to my mom. I remember seeing all these huge fire hoses all over my street and my eyes just kind of followed the winding hose to the nozzle with a powerful stream of water aimed directly at my house (did I mention it was around Christmas, so all my presents burned too). Time stood still and all I could think of is "MARY ANN (my popples' name) IS IN MY ROOM, SOMEONE SAVE MARY ANN!!!!!" My dad, my hero, ran into to burning house and found my Mary Ann, my soft purple and pink Popples. This is the reason I still have Mary Ann. She was my whole world and I didn't care one bit that she smelled as if she just came from a smoke stack. A memory...of long ago...yet I can still see the fire, smell the smoke, and feel the heat. I will never know what it was like for my dad to run into a burning house. But I do know, now, what that love is like, because, I would do the same. I hope and pray that I can pass that feeling onto my own two children.

Random Thoughts

2010-09-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

*Wondering who is going to win Big Brother? Really hoping Lane wins and Enzo goes home.

*Thinking there has to be an easier way to take my son to school in a torrential down pour with a 20 month baby in the car.

*Why is it that my husband gets called to an emergency or fire right as we sit down to dinner.

*Why is it that every time I think about work, I just want to throw up?

*Thankful for my family and husband.

*Why does my daughter continuously climb on chairs and stoves?

*90 mg of anti-depressants a day is really helping, helping in a way that I can get through daily activities with out having a panic attack, but not in the way that I could go back to work, I would pass out if I were forced that way.

*Going to be starting a Beth Moore Study next week, I'm so so SO excited about it too!

Flutter Flower

2010-09-08T15:27:00.001-07:00

Here is a flower to make your day! Here it is raining and dreary. But inside we are all flowers and sunshine! Ok, maybe just flowers.

Flowers

2010-09-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little crafty! So, I'm back to making bows and clips. I'm really strange like that. I can't make myself do something creative or crafty if I'm not in the mood. My project won't turn out worth a flip.

It's nice to be feeling again. I'm learning to focus on the positive, to think positive and even though I don't know how bills will get paid at times, I am just focusing on today. "Today I'm a stay-at-home-mom, today I'm a housewife, today I am..."

I adore my husband. I adore my daughters soft brown curls. I adore the majestic spirit my son has. I'm blessed and I'm thankful and even though it takes a cocktail of 90mg per day to help me feel this way, I still have hope that I will be able to wean off of the meds and enjoy everyday God gives me!

Positve Glimmer

2010-09-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

The only way I can describe depression/anxiety is like this; deep dark in a black cave, completely closed off from the world, no hope of rescue, no sunshine to be seen again. It reminds me of The Count of Monticristo's time in prison. Last Sunday Evening after church I felt like there was a glimmer of hope. A beacon of light in the far distance, still far away, but I can see it, now I've just got to learn to walk the path to it, picture the path being a tightrope. I felt like God was whispering to me "Stop trying to pinpoint what you feel like is wrong, and learn to live a new life, reborn and repurposed" I told J about how I was feeling. I can't begin to express my gratitude that I vowed to love, honor, and cherish nearly 8 years ago. He could laugh or say 'suck it up' but instead he loves and supports me. Just as my parents and his parents have done.
Recently I've been listening to 'The Secret' and I'm learning from this book, a way for me to reconfigure my thinking. I don't agree with all of it, for instance, 'ask and you shall receive' has been taken out of context. But the Law of Attraction does make since. You know the old saying "Misery loves company" well, happy people rub off just as much as a grumpy person can. So, time to rebuild my functioning for something positive. Revelation of my purpose will be revealed in His timing. For now, my goal is to think positive thoughts.

Bridges Burned!

2010-08-28T19:36:00.001-07:00

I have to get this off my chest! This is in no way directed to any one person or party! Just something I have noticed over the OH so wonderful FACEBOOK!
I love FB, I never thought I would be a FB lover, but those pregnant sleepless nights became a little more bearable when I became curious and started my profile. First I looked up my brother, then teacher friends, and so on, and so forth. I've been connected to family and friends all over the world! We schedule playdates, chat, and keep up to date with events all using facebook. Much like a car, that you have to take a test and get a license to drive; facebook can be a dangerous vehicle. It can 'burn a bridge' permanently, if used for the wrong reasons. I can remember a time when I was really mouthy! I didn't care who I hurt because I was always in the right! (ha) With age, I have learned that keeping my mouth shut is much more important, because it is just not worth it to lose lifelong friends or family all because I'm aggravated for a short time. So, I think we should implement having to get a license before being able to take facebook for a drive. Not only would facebook be a safer place, but it would also be a little nicer. Because to get a license, you would have to pass an ettiqette test to use facebook. Don't use a person's name or a title and then completely trash said person for all the world to see. Don't allow others to make negative comments when the person being trashed is not there to defend themself. It's sad. Because you may not just hurt that one person, you may hurt those that love that person, whether the person is 9 or 90, we all have feelings. So, just like the Bible tells us, just like God commands us "Love thy neighbor". That doesn't just mean those next to you. That is everyone. Keep hurtful thoughts of others to yourself. Or have a close friend you can 'vent' to and then maybe have a praydate. I'm not perfect. I've said so many times! I just had to vent these frustrations. Without a name or title! Everyone has good in them, we have some bad too, it's what we choose to act on that makes us who we are.

Do they Know?

2010-08-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went out for a bit on my own. I was to meet a friend who made a gift for B-man's best friends birthday party. As I was about to leave I could feel that all to familiar feeling in my chest, the burning in my arms, and then the thinking while I breathe, so that I don't breathe to fast. Since I was going to meet a friend I didn't want to fall over the edge so I took my 'emergency' medicine. The medicine I take in addition to the daily dose of Prozac when I can feel an anxiety episode coming on. I was driving in downtown Fort Smith, the party scene is just getting started and I noticed a new sign at the top of a tall building. The sign was there to let others know what company is not located there. I don't even remember what it said, I just remember the official business feel it had to it. Then my mind starts to race (I know every bit of this is irrational) and I'm thinking, "I should be at work in one of those buildings, bringing in some type of income, Little M in daycare" and then the crying starts, the rapid breathing gets a little worse and J calls. Funny how that happens. He asks me to get him a black belt while I'm out and the moment he speaks to me he knows. He says "Take a deep breath, enjoy sometime on your own and with your friend, Little M is sleeping, she is just fine, B-man and I are playing, everything is okay" He's so sweet. Most men would have run by now. Mine sends me a text "Remember I love you and we will get through this together". Since I had taken my med I was starting to calm down. I got to JCPenney and as I walked through the store I couldn't help but think "No one knows, she has no idea. Can they see my hands quivering? Would anybody ever guess I just took a Zanex?" "Would anyone guess that ME, an overweight mother of two, just took a zanex in hopes of feeling normal again?","Where is my normal? What is my normal? I can't take this any longer? I wish I could just pass out and someone wake me up when they found a cure." All so irrational, but thoughts that race all the time. Just coming off of a good day and the hammer falls again, like I know it will, like it always does. More in the day and the life of this 'illness'. I know longer feel bad for taking medication to feel happy, even though the happy is sparse, at least it comes. I can't feel bad for trying to get my kids mother back, the one who didn't cry all the time. I don't feel bad for trying to give my husband back his wife, the one who can clean and laugh instead of being curled up on the couch hoping not of fall apart. I won't feel bad for trying to give myself back to me.

More Good

2010-08-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this by saying how much I am blessed. I'm fully aware that there are struggles and losses far greater than mine. I'm not complaining through this 'illness', I'm just trying to work out my feelings and either get back to normal or find a new normal that I can live with.

Yesterday I had more good than bad. For me that is huge! I didn't have to take my 'emergency' medication at all yesterday. My day started with waking my little ones and having a breakfast and devotional with my son. Little M is fighting this new special time between B-man and myself. She has now decided that she will just wake everyone up before it's time. That's what I get for letting her sleep those first few days, because you know she doesn't like to miss a thing! Then I called my dad to check on my step-mom, had an impromptu breakfast and perused the isles of our new Savers before heading to library time with my wee little girl. She laughed and did a little dance. She met another little girl named Miranda that is about her age and we got to see little Owen from church with his Grandma. I love the ladies at the library. They are two of the kindest women I know. And they have an incredible memory. The first thing Ms. Judy asked was "Where is B-man?" (well, she used his real name:) And we haven't seen them in a few months due to my 'working' with a friend on Thursday mornings. But, since I'm too crazy for that now....I'm taking Little M for story time. My Psychologist Dr. F gave me some homework for the week. It was "Make and keep plans with friends" and "Focus on one day at a time. Today I am a stay-at-home-mom and a house wife. Don't focus on what I'm NOT accomplishing" The first one I did. But the second one is really hard. However, I had a surprise nap yesterday! My mind shut off while my daughter was resting and I drifted off to sleepy land. How wonderful. Then I picked my son up from Kindergarten, we came home, did homework, read books, laughed, watched a movie together and had dinner. B-man and I cuddled on the floor while Little M used us both as jungle gyms. I kissed their soft cheeks and thanked Jesus for a good day.
Meanwhile, Little M has decided she loves her baby dolls. We are now taking them in the car and she walks around with them all the time, stopping to kiss and hug them ever couple of steps. It's so sweet and different from the Hot Wheel Car Crashes I'm used too.

Kindergarten

2010-08-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true, my little June Baby started school last week. He is having a great time. I am now on the other side of education. The parent (insert JAWS music here). I have decided that the best compliment a teacher can give a parent is "thank you for working with your child". If you know my little angel you know he is a talker. That coupled with being with mommy instead of preschool can make things a little rough on teacher. This compliment to me means two things. One: she knows I'm on her side and will support her efforts. Two: B-man is getting better with the structure because his teacher and I are working together. His teacher we will call Mrs. D. She is a veteran teacher of 30 years that has NOT lost her edge. She teaches because she wants to, not because she has too. Both wonderful qualities. I really like her, she is kind and firm. He is making friends and learning alot. He is not behind due to lack of preschool. He already knows all he is required to for kindergarten. So, he did pay attention when I was working with him. I had my doubts.
My son and I start out each morning reading his children's Bible, having a devotional, and praying. Something I used to do at night, then sluffed off of, but have recently felt the nudge to pick up again. It makes all the difference.
This is bittersweet, my baby in kindergarten. I can't help but think and pray for those whose children will never make it to this milestone. Being a parent is a wonderful blessing. Children are a gift that God gives and trust us to take gentle care. Say a prayer for parents who have loved and lost. My son and I do every night.

Who?What?When?Where?How?

2010-08-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Who?
Me! Wife of nearly eight years to the most wonderful man! Mother of one fun, energetic, inquisitive little boy and of one fun-loving, melt-your-heart, beautiful daughter. Daughter of Christ. From a divorced family with one incredible step-mom. Sister to a pain in the tush 16 year old brother. Blessed to marry into a stable mother and father-in-law who bless my life with their unconditional love.
What?
What do I have? Well, like diabetes or high blood pressure; I have an 'illness' known as anxiety and depression. (The analogy is from my doctor) An 'illness' that I have to learn to deal with. (And I can't believe I'm writing about it here for complete strangers to read but my doctor says the more I try to hide it, the worse it will get.)
When?
When did this come up? Well, if you ask those I know, they might say "I knew she was crazy a long time ago." I personally have known from an early age that I worried more than any other kids. It has popped up from time to time in my life, but I have mostly been able to suppress it. My last severe 'pop-up' I got a tattoo. I've had PDD after my second child but I was able to get past it without medication. Back in May I had a surgery and a week after that, this 'illness' came up with a vengeance. Since then, I've had 'call 911!' anxiety attacks. Thankfully, my husband is an EMT so, he was able to take care of me until it 'passed' into a less severe situation.
Where?
Where does it happen? Anywhere, anytime. It happens mostly due to a trigger of some sort. But I never know what the trigger is or when it will happen. I can pinpoint some triggers but a new one pops up all the time. Like driving, a movie, sound of the air-conditioner coming on, the thought of my daughter being in daycare (that one just pushes me over the edge)
How?
So, how will this be treated? Well, I'm told it will never completely disappear, I will have to learn to control it with therapy, medication, and 'self-talk'.

This 'illness' makes me mad! Financially, I need to bring in some income, but for now am not capable of work. It's infuriating because this is so minuscule compared to things others have been through! I know strong women, who lose family members to cancer or some other tragedy, and they are stronger than me.
Here is what I have learned! 4 months ago I would have said what I'm going through now is DUMB and someone just needs to put her big girl panties on! Now, I know that according to my doctor I almost waited to long to treat this and nearly ended up hospitalized. That still may happen. I've done nothing to create this, it's just a part of who I am. My Savior will only give me what I can handle and He answers prayers. This 'illness' will work for His Glory one way or another. So, even though most days I can barely get out of bed, sadness overwhelms me, worthlessness consumes almost every thought, I will still............get out of bed...smile for my kids...make and keep plans...love my husband and family...love my Lord...and keep on going.

Homework Flashbacks

2010-08-13T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, today my son comes home with 3 smiley faces and 1 frowny face. Why? Because during classroom time he wasn't staying in his seat or listening. At an early age I realized my son had an adversion to learning with me. Homeschool would not be an option. So, today he brings home the two pages that he didn't get done during classroom time! 40 minutes for TWO pages. And then I remembered one dreary day sitting at the kitchen table. I was supposed to copy one paragraph from my Arkansas History Book (back when that was considered learning! ha) and I was trying with every ounce of my beng to get out of it. My dad did NOT give in even a little! I ended up finishing the assignment and I don't believe I ever pulled that again. Present day, sitting at the table with my son I kept a quiet but stern voice, said a silent prayer and told myself, if we have to sit here all weekend, he WILL do this homework!!!!! He did....finally. Lots of positive reinforcement "What a great job with your R! I love watching you write" Now, he is playing happily with playdoh, while me daughter uses me as a jungle gym in the midst of my typing. I think she is trying to tell me something!
I wouldn't give this up for anything! Life is precious!

The First Day

2010-08-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

I have had some very difficult days in the past two weeks. At one point I was ready to check myself into the hospital. But I didn't want to miss my son's first day of kindergarten or be away from either kid for very long. So, I suffered, and finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She says I'm not crazy! Not yet anyway. But, I'm right on the edge of losing all functionability. Seriously, I keep thinking it can't get worse and then it does. I'm not going out a lot because I never know when an 'episode' will occur. I had three in one day! After just one I'm zapped! Three was nearly unbearable. That same day (after the episodes had come and gone) I found out that a former collegue's precious daughter was in the fight of her life. A fight that was won for heaven. Leightyn went to be with Jesus this past Saturday. Her family needs prayers, she is a very loved little girl that will be missed by everyone who ever set eyes on her. I'm heart broken for them. Our children are the same age, both getting ready for kindergarten. So, today, as I was taking my son to his first day of school, I couldn't help but think about Leightyn. Please pray for them.
Later the same day my dad ended up in the hospital for a possible heart attack. He was so sick no visitors were allowed. My step mother has taken wonderful care of him. He had two stents (sp?) put in because of 90 percent blockage, and the lower right portion of his heart wasn't even beating. So scary! I'm so thankful he is okay.
So, I'm taking it one minute at a time. I've learned that this is not situational, it is chemical. I can be okay when I should be super sad and scared AND super sad and scared when every thing else is hunky dorey!
Today was the first GOOD day I've had! No 'episodes'! My dad is home! My son's first day of kindergarten went super well. AND today is the first day of my newly doubled medication! Also, my husband was home today, which was fantastic. I'm so thankful for a supportive husband. Wonderful friends and family that are hanging in their with me.

Leightyn

2010-08-06T19:38:00.000-07:00

This is Leightyn. A vibrant little girl that loves being creative, playing with her sister, and having adventures. Her mother is Missy, we used to teach together and were pregnant at the same time. Me with a son, her with a daughter. Recently this seemingly healthy girl was found to have bleeding on her brain. She has been air lifted to Children's Hospital where they promptly put a drain tube in to alleviate the pressure from her brain. Unfortunately nothing seems to be working. Currently her God fearing parents and family are waiting on MRI results. I can't imagine how they are feeling. Will you please say a prayer for a miracle and comfort for Leightyn's loving mom and dad.

And it strikes AGAIN!

2010-07-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted much lately, truth is, I haven't been on the computer much. I had surgery at the end of may for (warning) really bad monthly cycles that were never ending and double you over painful. Turns out it was scar tissue that was compressing my bladder and wrapped around my uterus. I think I've mentioned that before. About a week and a half later I started experiencing anxiety. Not just a little, like PPD kind of anxiety. I was reluctant to mention it to my OB because our family doctor retired and I don't want to be medicated by someone who barely knows me. The upsetting part is that I have no idea why this is happening. Because even though I may 'look' like I just had a baby, I did NOT, so where is this coming from? Panic attacks were taking over and happening at weird places. Thankfully Dr. Laws (who also worked a miracle in my cousin by saving her and her precious baby girl!, he is just that great) is treating whatever is going on. Personally, I think he accidentally hit an anxiety switch in me while performing my surgery. The great news is that my monthly cycle is nearly painless, still long, but I can deal with that, and I'm still regulating. So, I'm on two medications and I am going back to the doctor for a follow up in about an hour. The first three weeks were great on the meds. I used one rarely and took the other daily as prescribed. But, all of the sudden the attacks are so easily triggered and cause instant vomiting and hyperventilating.
(For those that don't know me or even if you do, you might be thinking it's just a lack of strength. I used to think the same thing. Just push the anxiety away and you will be fine. Totally untrue, during an 'attack' my mind is saying 'stop stoP STOP' but I just can't!)
Thankfully, my husband is being so wonderful and gracious and helping me. I'm blessed that he meant "for better for worse".
I've really wrestled with whether or not to post this. But, God will not give me more than I can handle, and I know there are others that have the same if not worse problems than me. I'm blessed beyond measure. I pray that God will use this anxiety to His Glory.

Never try to HIDE a cookie

2010-06-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

My daughter and I took our first Happy Hour Sonic run today! B-man decided he would rather stay home and play DS while watching Toy Story. Of course, I offered to get him something but he just said "Apple Juice please" So, I poured him juice and added a chocolate chip cookie to sweeten the deal. I told him where his juice was and about the cookie (I hid one freshly backed cookie so my daughter could have one as well).
Off we went to Sonic. I wish I had pictures but my camera is on the fritz probably due to being handled by underage users (my kids). My daughter thinks she is such a big girl because Mommy ordered her a drink all to herself. (Water of course, no sugar drinks for a 17 month old) The little child size water is so big compared to my 20 pound daughter!
When we got home she stood so proud with her drink. Of course she wants to carry the now nearly empty Sonic cup complete with straw all around the house. DANGER. No straw injuries please. (When B-man had his eye surgery I remember seeing another child who had surgery due to a PEN going through his eye, just carrying it around and one little fall)
Also! Hidden cookie was FOUND! By my son who says "I'm not sorry I ate it, it's in my tummy and it was good" My fault, I wasn't clear in my instructions. I should have said "You may have the ONE cookie I sat out for you, the other HIDDEN one is NOT for you, it's for your sister! Lesson Learned.

2010-06-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Of course I start blogging and my daughter wakes up from her nap. So I will make this quick. Little M has the cutest curly hair. She can wear pigtails now, although she's not a fan of sitting for me to do it. But she does demand a bow! I'm not kidding! She will go and get a bow or stand next to one of her bow holders and point.
Also, post flood, I have dug deep and decided to be creative (which of course means to steal my friend's great ideas). I recently completed Little M's name to go in her room. And I've also finished the rest of the decorating. Yes, my daughter is 17 months old and her 'nursery' is just now to the point that I am completely satisfied. I tried really hard to get it done before she was born, but try as I might the 'honey-do-list' did not get completed until I could do it myself. It's so hard to get the unwilling to become willing when it comes to a 'bossy' pregnant woman who is already panicked because she KNOWS the baby is going to come early. But I survived and now it is complete:) That makes me smile.
We have been super SUPER busy this week full of lots of fun at VBS! I love it!
Have a blessed day!

Not Much

2010-06-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

Not much or maybe too much has been going on these days. My computer is not wanting to load pics, so sorry for the lack there of.
In Short.
B-man has been signed up for kindergarten. Not sure how I feel about that. I considered homeschooling, but I know he is ready for school.
Little M is doing wonderfully. She is so incredibly girly! From her squeals to her purse carrying, she is a girly girl. She is 'talking' so much lately. And all of her black straight hair from birth has been replaced with golden brown curls, which compliment her very dark brown eyes. Little M has attendency to run high fevers when she is sick. So, we battled that for about 4 days, it was thought to be pneumonia but turned out to be Rosiola, a fever virus that is known for extremely high temps. At one point she was up to 105.5. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.
I had surgery. Dr. Laws in an incredible doctor and gives his patients the best care. Turned out I had scar tissue that grew over my bladder and uterus (I didn't know that was possible) so that all had to be removed. With that came some other issues that I may blog about later. I don't have a huge fan base, but I'm still processing what happened and may blog later for my on therapeutic reasons. Mostly, I will listen to God and if I feel led to share I will know it is because He wants me to.
Good Night for Now!

2010-05-21T19:27:00.001-07:00

Well, we've been in our home for a month now. Still don't have the guest bathroom all put back together. But I love the new floors and carpet. I just hate how we got them.
I've been working really hard to keep the house clean. Now, the garage, that's another story. I'm leaving that up to my husband.
I've been sleeping so much better after taking my friend's recommendation to try Melotonin supplements. I feel like my enternal clock has been reset and my body now know night from day.
B-man got to meet his new kindergarten teacher. I really like her. I'm excited and nervous for my little boy to start kindergarten in the fall. I find myself wondering if the other kids will be nice to him, will he fit in, will he want to learn more at school than he does here? Although, he finally has let me show him how to write his letters. He is pretty small compared to the other kids. Funny thing, everything that his name was written on was misspelled! Glad we caught it before the first day of school.
Little M has a 'mystery fever' right now. I took her to the pediatrician today. No obvious sign of infection. They did a cath to check for a UTI, thankfully that was negative. She is just running fever, feeling fussy and sluggish and not eating well. She didn't even smile for her daddy today and she ALWAYs has a smile for him. Of course, my obvious fear is some underlying invader that is causing the trouble. So, I'll just keep waking every 3 hours to alternate Tylenol and Motrin, and of course keep a very close eye on her. I have a feeling our weekend will be spent inside.
Also, if you read this, say a little prayer for my brother. He's 16 and in need of spiritual guidance and intervention.

Sweet Collin

2010-05-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Emily and Phillip Marsh watched their two year old boy go to be with Jesus. I will never understand the death of a child. My heart is broken for Collin's Parents. This couple goes to my church, I don't know them personally, but I've been praying for them without end since he was diagnosed. His life meant something to me, with his life, I was able to teach my 4 year old boy how to pray for someone else. My son's first prayer for Collin was "God, please let Collin grow up to be big just like me". With all my heart, I have prayed for him to be healed this side of heaven. Collin is in no more pain, he doesn't have to have anymore doctor visits. Because he is with the Great Physician now. For Collin, he has had his day of glory. Now, I'll pray for his parents. Everything will be a reminder of thier Sweet Collin's life. I pray that God will overwhelm them with love, peace, and understanding.
Good Bye Sweet Collin. One day we will see you again.

2010-05-13T11:46:00.000-07:00

Superpower

2010-05-07T19:51:00.001-07:00

Well, we are finally back in our house. We have been here for a little over a week and we are all loving it. I do miss having adult conversation all the time to only having a 4 and 1 year old to chat with.
Mother's Day is just around the corner. This is a particulary special day for me, as a mother and a daughter. A little over a year ago, after my daughter was born, my best friend sent me a peice of flair on facebook that said "I make milk. What's your superpower?" I laughed at that because at the time I was having a difficult time nursing my baby and didn't know if I could stick with it for a year like I had planned. I did stick with it, plus a couple of month. This brought me to ponder the 'superpower' theory. I think EVERY mom has a super power, also known as intuition. On more than one occasion 'mother's intuition' has played a huge role in my life. Most recently I was talking to another mom I go to church with. We were waiting this past Wednesday in a church pew chatting until AWANA Awards Assembly took place. This mom started asking me about my son's eyes and how did I know something was off and when?. This mother of 3 boys begins to tell me her concerns for her newest bundle of joy. She said "I've never been an axiety ridden mom, never been burdened with concern" but for some reason, she was just so worried about her little 4 week old boy. The VERY NEXT day, she notices her baby is panting and fussy. She calls the doctor who asks her to bring him in to the office. After an x-ray they find that his lung is compressed and his stomach is in the wrong place due to a hernia (not sure how to spell but it's like a diaphramgtic) Bottom line is, she saved her son because 'mother's intuition' led her to seek medical attention. Baby boy has had surgery at Children's and is expected to make a full recovery! God, our Holy Saviour should be glorified! His print is all over this family! How awesome our God is! And what an awesome, special blessing it is to be called mom. So, Happy Mother's Day to my friend and her family. Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, Step-Mom, Mother-in-Law, and Grandma! You are all wonderful women!

Busy Busy but coming Together

2010-04-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

We are still 'living' with my in-laws and I have honestly enjoyed it. There is almost always an adult here to talk to and with which to eat a meal. Cleaning is easier not only because we are living out of a laundry basket but because we are all pitching in.
On the down side! A monster has taken over my son's body. He has been wild, defiant, and mean! I've really been struggling and praying, struggling and praying. I want B-man to grow up with a sweet and kind spirit. I don't want him to be 'THAT' kid in the classroom. You know, the kid that never misses, but also never acts right; which in turn makes one misearable school year for teacher and other students. I'm told he acts nice around others though, so, I'll focus on that. I think this behavior comes from his several things. We are displaced from our home, his Daddy is staying at our house (rather than here) to try and get it ready for us to move in to, and he had some shots a week and a half ago, the same day our house flooded. But, he is also incredibly sweet and loving with me, unfortunately NOT his baby sister. It's not all bad....but I cried when he whacked at his sister with his jacket leaving a little red mark from his zipper and then turning around and doing it to his Grandmother. I don't know how many times a day I say 'LISTEN to ME'. I'm not being unrealistic in my requests of him, but he just doesn't hear me!!! I have faith that God is going to lead me through this storm.
I can't wait to post pictures of our house all redone! I'm super sore from moving all my furniture and painting Little M's room, the kid's bathroom and the master bedroom. But it will be worth it soon.

Flooded House

2010-04-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

I woke up thinking yesterday was a nightmare. Did my house really flood? Is there really an estimated... well, huge amount in damage? Am I really homeless?

Then it all comes back. YES, I did come home to a flooded house. A flood that took our my living room, entire bathroom, and both of my kid's rooms.

Wow, that happened...

Trip to NWA

2010-04-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

So, as I loaded these pics they came up in the opposite order that I had planned, and since I'm to lazy to redo it, I'll just tell you about our day in rewind:) Today we drove up to Fayettville to visit our friends Melindah and her mommy Lori. At the end of our park visit we decided to check out the creek and Mini (that is what we call Melindah for short) was all about the creek. She dived right in!

Little M on the other hand did not participate. I know, I'm such a mean mom. BUT, she is finally ALL well, just got off of antibiotic, and we had a bit of a drive before we would be home. I just wanted to be on the safe side with her.

B-man had a blast! It took him all of two seconds to fall flat on his hiney in the water. Oh well, he just rode home in the extra shirt I brought for him and no pants. I couldn't deny him an opportunity to play in a real creek. I used to have a great creek in my neighborhood as I was growing up. Until they concreted it, such a sad thing to do.

Getting brother and sister to both look at the camera is no easy task!

About as hard as getting to 15month old girls to smile and be close to each other! >

We had such a great day! Thanks Lori and Melindah! Can't wait to do it again.

Easter Eggs and other Smiles

2010-04-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Like many families across the US we dyed the traditional Easter Eggs. It was really easy this year because my son is at that age where he does so much of it on his own and DOESN'T create a huge mess.

Little M helped dye some eggs too. She wasn't really patient and didn't let them stay in the dye long. She just reached into the red and picked up that egg, took one look at it and put it in the blue cup. She is a girl who likes her purple.

Simply, wonderfully, dyed by my young God Loving Children.

On another note. Little M has decided that she is the boss! She is dainty and assertive. I took this snap shot right after Little M was attempting to get her brother away from her camera! But she loves him, you can tell.

After a long Friday and Saturday Little M was super duper tired. As I was getting her bath and bed ready, I found her like this. Cell phone and rocking chair while mom draws her bath. That's my girl~

New Friends

2010-04-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Aren't new friends such an incredible blessing!? At my son's T ball practice Little M made two new friends. From right to left we have my Little M, Chloe Jane, and Meredith! I foresee these 3 girls becoming great playmates as the investigate under the watchful eyes of we 3 moms!

I pray that my daughter will cherish all that friendships have to offer as she grows.

Reminds me of the Girl Scout song

"Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold."

Anyone remember that besides me?

On a heavier note. For me the blog and facebook world have a huge blessing but also made the hardships of life in others so much more close to home. A friend of mine from MOPS recently became an Aunt to a 1lb 9 oz baby boy Samuel. He was unexpectedly delivered by mom Sarah at 24 weeks 2 days. Such hard situation. Samuel is struggling for life and could really use your prayers. So , fellow prayer warriors, as often as you think of it, give thanks for your healthy babies and pray for those that are not. Pray for healing this side of Heaven for baby Samuel as a testament to God's incredible power and strength. Pray for comfort for Mom and Dad. The NICU rollercoaster is one of life's most difficult rides. You can read about baby Samuel HERE and keep updated.

Great

2010-03-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went GREAT! I was super nervous, I don't love the thought of someone else being in control while I'm asleep. But Dr. Joseph is fantastic. The whole procedure took 3 hours. 15 minutes of which was the actual procedure. Ha! The usual, weight, pregnancy and medicine check. When the nurse said "Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?" I was like "NO" then she said, "How do you know?" Hm, "Well, because I'm pretty confident in our prevention methods" Then she said she still has to do a test. And here's why! That same morning a lady the age of 43 was in there to have some type of procedure done. They asked her the same question of of course she said there was no way she could be pregnant because she was menopausal. And guess what? She WAS pregnant!!! Surprise. God has a since of humor! So, no procedure for her! Mine was negative, so, they proceeded with the procedure.
It was mostly uneventful. I fell asleep, the doctor did his scope, and I woke up. I do have some damage to my esophagus, so he gave me a prescription for that. And my stomach was swollen and irritated so he had to do a couple of biopsies and we will know about that in about 5 days. The great part was all the sleep I got! I slept for noon to 3:30, 4:30 to 7:00 and 10:00 to 8 this morning!! Wow, I usually average about 4 to 5 hours a night. SO I'm feeling super rested!

Meloncholy

2010-03-29T20:34:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I'm going in for an EGD. Hopefully this will give answers as to the 'episodes' I occasionally have, one so bad that I was begging my husband to call 911. He wouldn't do it, but said he would take me to the ER. The mommy in me didn't want to wake my babies. I probably should have gone though. My doctor said, if I did, he would better know what was happening.
I'm extremely nervous. I know it's a super minor procedure but I don't like being asleep and someone else being in control of what is going on. Plus, I woke up on a colonoscopy, not pleasant, they knocked me back out pretty quick, but I don't want to wake up with something shoved down my throat. The nurse told me that they have to give a LOT more sedative to get past the gag reflex, so that makes me feel a bit better. We shall see. God is in control. Pretty sad that to get a day of rest, I have to have some medical procedure. I didn't even get to rest when I had Pneumonia! Ha!

Hair Do

2010-03-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when Daddy does my hair!

Emergency Prayers

2010-03-02T17:40:00.000-08:00

Being pregnant for a woman is the best and scariest time in her life. The thrill of getting to hold your bundle of joy, dressing, changing, and watching him grow. For nine months anticipation for that final day builds. Meanwhile, prayers are whispered "Please let my baby be healthy" and each doctor's visit is thrilling and terrifying. "Is everything still okay?" Yes, we believe that God is with us. At the same time we usually know of someone that it didn't go right for, of a baby that didn't make it. But still we press on, we enjoy each kick, and count movements hourly to put our own mind at peace.
Yesterday, for one family in my church, tragedy struck. A woman knows her body, and this momma knew something wasn't right. Upon contacting her midwife and going to the hospital it was determined that this full term pregnancy would result in a baby boy that would not take his first breath. After nine last night she delivered her still born baby boy. Momma and Daddy and grieving heavily. Tonight, Jesus is holding this baby boy. Please Pray for comfort in this family's loss. A loss so great that I for one can not fathom. I'm heartbroken for this family tonight. I'm reminded of how thankful I am for my two children and painfully aware that some parents are coming home without their bundle of joy. Coming home to a place with baby clothes, a nursery, and diapers that won't be needed. As often as this comes to your mind, even though you may not know this couple, pray for peace and comfort for this couple's empty arms.

What in the World is going on?

2010-03-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

Last month you may remember that my daughter and I were both sick. The usual stuffy nose and coughing that slowly evolved to an ear and throat infection for her and a sinus infection for me. And now, here we are again. Little M is finally getting over her RSV and touch of pneumonia and just when I thought I was getting well, a rug was pulled out from under me. Yesterday was a nightmare. I was ready to go to the ER, I was in that much pain. I went to River Valley Urgent Care, steadying myself until I could see a doctor. I thought I was going to pass out at any moment. Have you ever weedeated? You know how your arm muscles feel shaken and unsteady after you've put the final landscaping touches on your lawn. Every muscle in my body felt that way. I was sweating (lovely, I know), I was pale, my dad told me it looked like I was withdrawing from an opient. (That's a former cop for you) My doctor was very nice and after an initial exam he decided it must be the flu. I KNEW it wasn't the flu, the pain was completely different than the achiness one feels with the flu. All the while I'm panicked that I could have passed something onto my daughter. I can only imagine if I feel this bad how she would feel. But my flu test was negative. So, off to x-ray and blood. work. When the results were ready my doctor came in and said "You need to come and see this with me" Very clearly even to my untrained eye you could see the little bronchial in my lung that were collapsed and surrounded with a cloudy fluid. A side view revealed a triangular space that is normally black on an X-ray because it's an empty space where air belongs. On my X-ray it was again filled with a cloudy fluid. Dr. C diagnosed my condition as Bronchial Pneumonia. That in conjunction with my high fever and shakiness explains clearly why I felt like poo. Our course of treatment is a new antibiotic, inhaler, and a muscle relaxer. I'm 28 years old and have NeveR had to use an inhaler. So, this Momma is demanding a sick day or two. Before I end up in the hospital where I can do no good for anyone. Thank you to my Mother-in-Law for being willing to take on this challenge. Today was my first day of rest and tomorrow is my last. I slept alot! But I was also incredibly bored as I missed my children so much. One more day of rest and then back to the nitty gritty!

Sick Baby Girl

2010-02-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

Our Little M is very sick. She started with the usual snotty nose last Thursday but it quickly morphed into something else. Friday I took her to a walk in with a low grade fever, cough and stuffy nose. The doctor told us there was nothing to treat with medicine as of yet. Fast forward to Sunday morning and Little M wakes up with a 103.8. I called the triage line where I was told that she did need to see a doctor but it would be okay to give her Tylenol or Motrin to keep her temp down until she could be seen. At 5a.m. this morning she had another high fever so, I gave her Motrin. At 8:30 I called her pediatrician and got her in at 10:50. I didn't give her anymore medicine so that the doctor could see her as I have been seeing her. At the Dr her temp was 99.8 right at 11:00. The doctor swabbed her for RSV and sent her for an x-ray because her lungs didn't sound "bad" but not "great" either. And since you well know that my nephew is seriously ill with pneumonia in the hospital still after 18 days, you can imagine how scared I am. My mom came when she found out about the x-ray because a baby getting an x-ray is traumatic for both baby and mom. I experienced this with my son and she was there then too. When we got back to the doctor's office from outpatient I told the receptionist we were back and I saw them give a 'look' and they took us back to a room. I told my mom I bet that meant her RSV was positive, that doctors office isn't quick about anything. She also has an area on her lung that is questionable and can become problematic. After the doctor I ran to Walmart to get a filter for her humidifier while my mom stayed in the car. I went home after that and took her temp and it was 105.5! I nearly fell over and started shaking. I happened to be on the phone with my husband who jolted me back to reality. He said to call the doctor so I did and the doctor's office didn't even give me the run around. They got me straight back to the doctor himself. He told me what to do, I did it and now her fever is at a cool 99.8-101. So, my alarms are set (in case I fall asleep) to administer Motrin and Tylenol every 4 hours. I'm a nervous wreck with her labored breathing. I'm afraid she will have a low pulse ox and I won't know it. You know, typical mom fears. I know it's nothing new, mom's worry about their kids, that is just how we are created. But for now, this is the biggest thing in my world. Please pray for our little girl.

January Birthday

2010-02-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

I realize I haven't yet posted about our Little M's 1st Birthday. Our baby is One! My, how time has raced by. I'm thrilled and saddened all at the same time. Where has time gone?

We had a wonderful celebration for her with all the people that love our kids. It was amazing. Every time I turned around someone else was loving on her. Babies and kids were all over the place. We celebrated at the West Room Down by the River. It was an excruciatingly cold day. It took several trips to the car to prepare to decorate and then even more trips with all the wonderful gifts she was given.

She smiled all day long. She was the happiest baby I have ever seen. Here she is with my mom. I just love her beautiful bow made by Alibugbows to match her birthday dress.

So, belated Birthday Girl. What have you been up to lately?

Well, you sleep through the night and I must say that I'm thrilled about this particular milestone.

You weigh 19lbs1oz and are 24 inches long. You are quite small for your age with the 11th percentile for weight and 30th percentile for height.

Playing with your brother is one of your favorite things to do.

We recently stayed away from our home for a week and you did a great job sleeping in your pack n play.

You are into everything and will put ANYTHING in your mouth. My own little garbage disposal.

You talk quite well. You can say Papa, Momma, Dadda, Buhbuh, I Love You, Hi, Bye Bye. When you want more of something your scream, we are going to have to work on that one.

You can walk a couple of steps on your own but just don't seem to be sure of yourself yet.

You eat all solid food. For Breakfast you like to eat a banana and cereal bar. For lunch and dinner you will eat whatever we are eating. But you really love Macaroni and Cheese!

Your smile lights up a room. We all love you so very much!

Finley Family Prayers

2010-02-19T20:32:00.001-08:00

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law have been blessed with three beautiful children. Heath is the oldest. He is 10 years old. He's a fantastic baseball player. A loving brother and son. And he is sick. This fiery red head has been down and out for two weeks. What started out as a 'virus' ended up being pneumonia in his left lung. After a fever of nearly 105 for 5 days he was admitted to the Hospital. His heart was showing signs of stress from such a high fever. The next day the doctor pulled 450 cc's of fluid from the left lung, in hopes that this would jump start his system and give the antibiotics a chance to kick in. After that didn't work they inserted a chest tube to give the lung a direct line to continuously drain. These procedures have each been done with NO anesthesia, as that lowers his pulse ox. Yesterday he had an x ray since having the chest tube removed on Monday and it didn't show any improvement like they had hoped for. So, he is still in the hospital and just tonight spiked another high fever. At the same time my brother-in-law is at home with their 4 year old daughter who is now also running a temp over a 102. Now he can't come to the hospital to see his son. And my sister-in-law is torn because she desperately wants to be there for her son and daughter. Meanwhile, Matthew, my sweet middle child nephew who has asthma is happy and healthy. Of course we are praying for his health to continue. Please please pray for healing for both Whitney and Heath. And endurance for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law.

For my crew. Little M is running a low grade 101.8, has a terrible cough, and snotty nose. She is also breathing quite fast when she is awake. I'm worried about RSV. My son was misdiagnosed with croup when he was a mere 3 months from turning two. He ended up being taken by ambulance from another doctors office (I had gone for a second opinion) because he was turning blue and had a pulse ox of only 82%. But the doctor said if she had RSV then it was just a virus so no need to test. As I write she is in her bed sleeping and coughing. It sounds so horrific. I'm thankful for my Angelcare Breathing and Movement Monitor tonight. Also, my husband is getting over an ear infection, bronchitis, and a throat infection of some sort as is my father-in-law. Anyone want to share a cookie?

Will you please dear readers, pray for our family. We pray that the well ones will stay well, so that we can nurture and nurse the ill ones back to health.

New Addition to Our Family

2010-02-18T19:32:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day the kids each got a new night light. Little M got the ladybug and B-man got the Twilight Turtle. Both the kids love their new toys. The turtle is educational with it's pictures of animals close to extinction. It also comes with a story book. Both light up with 3 different colors. So, welcome new addition. May you make our nights wondrous.

Lent

2010-02-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

This past year I must have been good because in my Christmas Stocking I had some yummy chocolate. I've never been much of a chocolate eater, at least not chocolate in solid form. But I pretty much became addicted. And even though this chocolate along with Ghiradelli and Bliss are insanely expensive considering it is just chocolate, I have stayed stocked up. As I write this the bowl of chocolate in my pantry is calling my name. I can almost feel the sweet morsel melt in my mouth. But then came Lent. I've never participated in this event before. I'm intrigued by the it's meaning. The first thing my husband said is "Your not Catholic". Jesus didn't spend those forty days and give up His life just for Catholics. I am one of His children. And with all He gave up for me, I can surely give up something for him. So, I chose chocolate. So long to you sweet Bliss, Ghiradelli, and Dove. I'll see you much later. But for now, in replacement, I'll keep my thoughts on Him. Because every time I want that sweet melting experience, I will spend time in prayer. Although, with 2 kids it may not be silent prayer but I will be spending time in prayer, time in the Word, and time reflecting on my thoughts and actions. I'm excited about this journey.

On a side note. I have recently committed to helping a wonderful friend build her home daycare business (she used to keep my son) and I will be working for her 4 days a week. Little M and B-man are excited. They get to learn and socialize with other kids while I'm there with them, not missing a minute. I'm a little nervous about the inevitable illnesses. Although, when my son attended her daycare he was rarely sick. She is VERY clean and enforces the '24 hour rule' at her daycare.

With that, my husband is currently sick. He is suffering from an ear infection, bronchitis, and a throat infection. They are watching him for the possibility of pneumonia. So, the lease of my problem is the daycare! Ha! Please pray for my wonderful husband. He is an extremely hard worker and rarely stops. Between a part time job driving an ambulance, a full time job as an Engineer, and a volunteer firefighter, he really doesn't have the time to get well. Because, he's just not the kind of person to call in. Pray for Him.

Sick Day

2010-01-27T12:09:00.000-08:00

Upon close inspection of my benefit package it has been found that no sick days are available. The pressure in my head is massive and kleenex is my new best friend. I can think of two people that don't go well together. Sick mom and kids! I'm trying really hard not to be grumpy with them, it's not their fault that I am sick. However, Little M is in the same boat I am. After seeing the doctor (because my husband ordered me to) it has been determined that I have a bronchial cough and a sinus infection. The doctor's prescription is antibiotic and cough syrup with hydrocodone in it. She also said I needed lots of rest. HA! Who is going to watch the kids? I really need some help. So, my little man is at the ready with a box full of tissue. Meanwhile, I'm going to suffer until I feel better. If I'm lucky someone will offer to let me nap.

Memory Loss

2010-01-26T11:19:00.000-08:00

Writers have Writer's Block, Artists suffer Artistic Block. Me, I suffer from Memory Block. I know a certain amount of memory loss with age is normal but PLEASE! I'm 28 years old and more often than not I find myself standing in the kitchen and wondering what I went to the kitchen for in the first place AND why is that milk in the pantry? My husband has given up on me being able to find my own keys, I can walk in the house for only a moment and 'lose' my keys. If I run to the store for a few things I not only forget where I parked but I often 'forget' to put the groceries away! I get busy with changing diapers and being my son's personal waitress that everything else just slips away. Perishables are not safe in my house. I sometimes forget to eat, although you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me. And names will never be remembered. If I happen to run into you please don't be offended that I don't know your name. My first year of teaching I prided myself on knowing all my student's names, I knew their parents and siblings names as well.I had the memory of an elephant! Now, I have kids come up to me that have been in my class and some of them don't even look familiar, but they know who I am. That is the hardest thing for me to deal with. All my former students are important to me and I hate that I can't remember them.
I believe I need to make an appointment with a doctor about this, but I'll forget to in ..... what was I talking about?

Just When you Think

2010-01-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

Just when I think Little M is going to give it up and take a nap, she DOES! But it only last like 15 minutes. And as a mom, I think, she has got to be tired. But somewhere in my daughter is a little Energizer Bunny and it is stuck in cry mode. Please Help Me!
Signed
A broken hearted mom listening to her daughter cry.

The Culprit

2010-01-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Raina, and I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper. I don't smoke, rarely drink alcohol but I'm addicted to this darn caffeinated beverage. I had done so well, I didn't drink any for about 2 weeks. The first 2 days were easy because I just had a little coffee to take away the withdrawal of caffeine. But then it got harder, the other day I was begging for my husband to bring me one home. Thankfully he didn't. But....after storms last night, staying up to make a dress on my new sewing machine (because you can't sew with a 4 year old and a 1 year old pawing at your leg), my husband getting called out to a fire and Little M waking early with a stuffy nose, well, I broke down and had not one but 3!!!!!!! I took the kids to the mall because Little M in all her crankiness was no longer happy with being home, and that is where I broke. I'm so mad at myself, but, oh, it was sooooo goooood. I'm weak!

Birthday Girl

2009-12-28T20:19:00.001-08:00

This smiley girl is about to be one! Where has time gone? Would I go back and redo this year? Absolutely, yes. I have enjoyed watching every second of her growth. She is so happy, energetic and knows how to handle her brother! She can already tattle on him.
Well, with it barely being a week past Christmas her birthday has snuck up on me. I knew it was coming but I hadn't sent my invitations out. So, tomorrow I will be hand delivering them.

Aren't they pretty? I just love these invitations.

This is her Bib to match her 1 year birthday dress. I'm so excited to see her in it.

I had in monogramed on both sides to make it a reversable dress. I just love the colors.

Here is the Birthday side. She has the most beautiful bow made by Felicia from Alibugbows on Etsy. I am so blessed that she doesn't live to far from me. I have gone to her house and had my own personal bow party. Just Heaven! More to come, my baby will soon be ONE!

Collin Marsh

2009-12-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

This precious little boy is in desperate need of a healing miracle. My son and I pray for him every night. Bryston always says to me "I want Collin to grow up big like me". This Christmas he and his parents are fighting hard to save his life. He was diagnosed with AML at the tender age of 7 months. Chemo and a Bone Marrow transplant have elemented that cancer but he has been fighting Graft Vs. Host Rash since receiving the transplant. Now, he is in sucha a critical state with EOS. You can read about it HERE. Our Loving Father is capable of this miraculous healing. HE knows the plans HE has for this little boy. I pray and I want you to pray that Collin can live here on Earth and grow up to be as big as Bryston. Pray for this Christmas Miracle.

New Years Resolutions

2009-12-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a full year. Jobless for the first time since the age of 14, a new mom to a 2nd child, and learning to become a SAHM have filled my year. This year has been a great year of learning. And now I'm thinking about my goals for next year. The year Twenty-Ten! Aren't we supposed to be flying in space cars by now? Ha! Normally I DON'T set 'New Year's Resolutions' because I feel like I am just setting myself up for failure. How wrong is that? But this year, I'm turning over a new leaf, which a I have a daily reminder of..... Hm, some of you know what I mean. So, here it is, in no particular order, MY New Year's Resolutions.

NUMBER ONE:
(I have no idea how many there will be)
My goal is to organize and clean my house by the end of January (not including the garage, that I will leave for my husband) and then maintain that cleanliness and orgazational heaven for an entire month. With that, I am hoping that I will have created a habit and t h e n maybe I will keep it up for good.

NUMBER TWO:
Calmness will be my friend this year. I'm going to destress my mind and soul through church attendance, Bible Reading, and prayer. I don't want to be a high-strung mom that could and does snap on a dime. All of this, without medication. (I'm not on medication now)

NUMBER THREE:
I have had the book The Purpose Driven Life for a long time. I don't think I have ever read past day 10. This year, I will finish. I will have it completed by the end of February. (First I need to find it)

NUMBER FOUR:
I'm not worried about losing weight, although, I really do need to lose weight. BUT, I want to live a healthier life. So, (I can't believe I'm going to say this) no more soda!!! And I plan to and WILL by goodness, complete some form of excercise every SINGLE blessed day of 2010! Whether it be 'Walk Away The Pounds' or running with my kid.

NUMBER FIVE:
Moderation, moderation, MoDerAtion. If I can't do something that I know takes my attention from things I should be doing, t h e n, I will give it up. That means, the internet, may have to go. And probably will, who knows. Fried food, Chocolate......

NUMBER SIX:
I am going to either receive or purchase a sewing machine this year. (Yes, I know how to sew) and will make some dresses for my little girl and any other little girl or little girl's momma who would like one. I'm going to complete more Personalized Paintings (I already of interest from two businesses), Bow Holders, and anything else that may come to mind. I'm talented in some areas and lack in others. I'm excited to explore this side of my life.

NUMBER SEVEN:

Christmas Wish List

2009-12-12T20:00:00.001-08:00

All I want for Christmas is:

Healing for Collin Marsh. You can read about him HERE. He is a precious one year old boy who is fighting for his life. He and his family go to my church.
A sewing machine so that I can make my little girl beautiful dresses. Buy a girl a dress, she will have a dress and momma will be broke. Buy her momma a sewing machine and the girl will have many dresses for life. (or at least until she demands that she gets to wear what everyone else is wearing)
Black snow boots. I want to join the trend of wearing fluffy snow boots over my jeans. Even though, snow is rare around here, but my feet will be warm and cozy.
A Heating Pad that won't bunch up. When I was pregnant last year I ruined my heating pad by rolling it up to get relief from horrible carpal tunnel.

Night of Praise

2009-12-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

We have so many reasons to Praise our Lord and Savior this Christmas. This was B-man's first year in our church choir. The ladies that take these 4 year olds and teach them music are pure saints. B has been singing up a storm since September. He loves choir. On December 6th the Children's Choir performed at our Night of Praise. My church has the best band and choir. I just love this night. Tears were in my eyes as my little sang, I can't believe he is old enough to do this.

Each child had a candle to hold (flameless of course) and my son is the one with the candle in his eye. Oh yes, that's our boy. We enjoyed this time so much. Our entire family came to see him for the 5 minutes that he sang. And that is the first time that my family and my husband's family have all been in one place since the day we married 7 years ago.

And this little angel was perfect. She listened and cuddled and enjoyed being passed to each family member. But when the lights were low she only wanted her mommy. My two sweet children. I'm so proud of both of them.

Contagious Laughter of an 11 month old

2009-12-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

11 months ago my life changed forever. I became a mother of two. My sleep decreased significantly but my tolerance to the lack of sleep increased. I amaze and disappoint myself each and every day. But, my greatest achievements call me 'mom'. "Mom, where are you?", "Mom, I need you?", a whimper, a smile, and every jabber make my days wonderful. I struggle everyday to be a good mom. I have discovered I am a naturally lazy person. If it weren't for my kids I probably wouldn't get out of bed on Saturdays. But my two kids have forever changed me. For the better I think. My Heavenly Father blessed our family with a boy and a girl. And today, she is 11 months old.

She has a smile that lights up even the darkest room (at 4 a.m.). She has a contagious laughter that warms my soul on the frigid days here in the South. Little M is weighing in at just barely 18 lbs. At this rate a forward facing car seat is a couple of months away still. And that is fine by me. She is eating more and more table food. Strawberry and peanut allergy worry is now in the past. She has tried both with success! She still only sleeps through the night on occasion. But usually only wakes up once a night. I'm still happily nursing her 3 times a day and once at night.

She is crawling everywhere, into everything, and cruising around furniture on the bottoms of her footed pajamas. She and her brother constantly entertain each other. He loves having her in his room to play and she loves it when he plays with her in the living room. She tattles on him already and he tattles on her too. I simple impatient cry let's me know that she doesn't like how B-man is playing. And I often hear "Mom, she's put something in her mouth". B-man's 'tattles' can be considered keeping her safe.
I love to dress her up, put a cute clip or a big bow in her hair. I love to shop online and look for new outfits for my Little M.

She is even a big help when it comes to picking out her accessories. I love this girl! She successfully has all the men in her life wrapped around her finger. Now, that's my girl.

Happy 11 month birthday Little M! Mommy loves you!

Grandma's Travels

2009-11-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

Recently my Grandma moved from her home in Enid to our home here in Arkansas. Five hours of travel by car before the move and now just 30 minutes away! She is enjoying time with her Great Grandkids year round. And this Sunday she will be flying to North Carolina to spend Thanksgiving with my Aunt, Uncle, and two cousins. We get her year round now and we are happy to share our wealth. So, please join me in praying for her safe travels.
Love you Grandma.

Killing Time

2009-11-09T14:57:00.001-08:00

My excuse for not cleaning something in this very messy house at the moment is just me NOT wanting to wake the sleeping baby currently in her carseat on my be with a blanket over her. Besides, it will just get super messy again anyway and then the cycle will continue. And I can't stop the cycle when it's clean but I can stop it now with laundry strewn about and toys scattered like landmines in my living room. Little M has been up since 4 this morning, which means, I have been up since 4 this morning. After a visit to Dr. Jon we determined that the cause of Little M's internal alarm clock is due to an ear infection. Apparently my sweet babe is allergic to dogs which causes super snottiness which in turn causes an ear infection. I pray she doesn't have to have tubes.
Meanwhile the refresh button on my laptop is wearing out as I try to follow Stellan's ablation. Here I am worried about a little fever and ear infection while Stellan is fighting for his life as doctors map out his delicate one year old heart. But, I tend to take on the worry of everything like Miss May in Secret Life of Bees. And so, I'll sit here, holding this couch down, and continue to pray for Stellan while hitting the refresh button on Twitter waiting to find out the latest info.
We love you Stellan and are praying for you.
www.mckmama.com

Two Months to go and you'll be a One Year Old!

2009-11-03T18:27:00.000-08:00

Well Little M, what have you been up to this past month?

I've been crawling everywhere! I know I took my time and had you worried about my crawling abilities but truth is, I just do everything in my own time. I heard you talking to the doctor about it and I heard him assure you that I could if I wanted to. Well, gig is up! But I know your having a blast chasing me and keeping me safe from eating foreign objects.

With all this crawling I've lost weight. I've gone from 18lb 2oz to 17lb 8oz, I hope this means I'm going to have a good matabolism when I get older.

I really enjoy playing with my brother and I've learned how to tattle. All I have to do is whimper, scawl, or cry and you come running. Thanks for always being there for me.

Dogs fascinate me. I love Nonna and Papas dog Snuggles, although he gives me the sniffles. Emmy and Papa's doggy Suzie is my good friend, she misses me when I'm not there. But why won't she let me play with her tail?

My teeth have been a true pain. All of the sudden I have 5 teeth with 2 more pushing through. How many more do I have to go? This is no fun.

I just recently started sleeping all night without waking you. I know what your thinking mom, is this due to the fevers I've been getting at night or will this trend stick around? Only time will tell.

I've been visiting Dr. Seubold on a regular basis. He's a great chiropractor! I haven't had a single ear infection since he helped me and I can move around with more confidence. Thank you Dr. Seubold.

I'm beginning to try but not really enjoy new food. So far I have had sweet potato, potato, cheese, bread, apple, banana (my favorite), cracker, avacodo, chicken, beef, and pasta.

My favorite time of day is the morning. I love waking you up with a wail then a smile.

Snuggle time is the best, I really enjoy my nursing time.

Recently I've become confident that you'll always be there, so, I didn't mind staying with my Emmy while you went to the hospital to be with Papa because I knew you would be back.

I'm learning so much with my new found crawling and have even discovered a new vantage point by standing on these feet, hmm, brother left a cookie, looks good!

I've been so busy this past month, just wait until the next. My first thanksgiving is just around the corner. Halloween is fun, so, I can't wait for the other holidays.

First Impressions

2009-10-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

New college students. Those fresh from highschool. Wet behind the ears to say the least. And with that, first impressions are everything! During that crucial time I had a run in with a (what I prejudged) hot-to-trot snob. She was fiesty and gorgeous and I loathed her. Her friends started the 'he said, she said' gossip and truths were twisted, rumors flew (yes, we were in college) and her feeling toward me was mutual.
Then one day the tables turned. During a lab final in which one of us entered late, the other offered some reluctant aid. That day I learned that first impressions and pre-judging should have no part in my life. Because that day I gained a friend. She is hot-to-trot and gorgeous but she is also one of the sweetest, most loyal, hard working, wonderful daughter, wife, mother, and friend.
We have been friends for 7 years now! She is married to a wonderful man, her very own prince charming and she deserves it like no one else I have ever known. And she has a gorgeous little girl!
Inspirational in her own right and she doesn't even realize it. One day, she looked at the road she lived on and said to herself "I want to be able to run up and down this road twice" she started slow and built up and now she has exceeded those 4 miles ( YES FOUR dag gum miles, I get winded just thinking about it) and she runs marathons.
She is a confident, witty, tell-it-like-it-is friend. She is a friend anyone would be lucky to have. I'm so glad that our first impression of one another did not stick. Because I would have missed out on knowing a God Fearing woman that I look up to.
Friends, meet Jessica, her husband Brad, and her beautiful daughter Aubree.

A New Series

2009-10-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

A while back my mom got the first two books of this series. She loaned them to me thinking I would have more time than her to read them. HA! I think I 'borrowed' these books about 9 months ago. And I am just now able to focus and read more than one sentence at a time. After the Twilight series I was a little lost and sad. No more Edward and Bella to entertain my imagination. I have never been able to read a book more than one time. I've tried. But I just can't get through it. AND, I'm a slow reader I want to revel in every word, not just get the gist of a story and be finished with it. At last, I picked up City of Bones and read it through. (The whole reason we became interested in this author is because Stephanie Meyer recommends them) Thankfully I had City of Ashes and was able to pick that up right after finishing the first. Absolutely torcheress (I don't even know if that is a word) I began to panic when I realized I was almost done and I don't have the third book! Alas, here I am, on Sunday and no book! I've been to the library but it won't be there until tomorrow, apparently the book is in 'transit'. So, as I wonder about the fiery red head Clary and the devilishly handsome Jace (it's not all romance) I decided to recommend this trilogy to any reader that may stumble across this blog post. It's a series that has been written to interest 'Young Adults'.

PS! My apologizes to my wonderful friend Jessica! I have been pestering her for details on the outcome of these books and she is NOT giving in. But, I've had a great time talking with her about them.

Long Time

2009-10-16T18:40:00.001-07:00

Wow, long time no hear, write...whatever. We have had many ups and downs with our Internet service. I'm not sure what the deal is, but the repair guy has given me his cell number. Ha!
Since the last time I wrote my daughter has turned NINE months old. We had pictures taken at a 'real' photography studio to commemorate the event. Now, if I can just figure out how to get them from the website to here. Honestly though, I haven't tried to hard.
Little M is right on track with her development. She is 17 lbs 12 oz and 26 and 1/2 inches long. She is no longer considered short and fat (plump) but right on track. She actually lost 5 oz from her last doctor visit but the doc said that it was fine because she has grown in length. (I would post a pic but the camera in in Little M's room and she is sleeping...I don't want to rock that boat)
So, what has she been up to?
*She is creeping, not crawling, but creeping.
On a side note: I talked to the Dr about this and he assessed her. She is completely capable of crawling but we are figuring that her eye issue has thrown off her depth perception. She begins her launch and then realizes 'oops, not yet'.
*Little M is enjoying real bananas, crackers, cheese but otherwise sticks to baby food. Oh, and she can down a tub of puffs in a day if I let her.
*She is still an on the go type of girl. If we are out and about then she is happy.
*She is back into her 'if mommy is out of my site then I'm going to scream' but I'm okay with that, because before you know it she'll be yelling at me to get our of her site.
*She got her first injury from another child. She was bit. Such a hard bite that it didn't break the skin but it did leave a bruise for over a week and a half. It's still a mystery as to who actually did the biting. I do know that the little biter has 4 teeth on top and 4 teeth on bottom.
*She also got her first and I hope last double ear infection.
*Meanwhile the poor girl has 4 teeth with another 3 pushing in. Ugh!! Pray for us!
Little M is truly the light in our lives! We have a bright life because B-man is pretty bright as well. However, when I think about her and how fast she is growing it brings tears to my eyes. Every moment is so precious to me because she is my last baby.
In the mean time! B-man has an imaginary friend named Stacey. He is into everything! Recently has gotten a TV in his room. Which means my living room stays cleaner in the morning while he watches Clifford or Word World in HIS room while playing with his toys. Woo Hoo.
I'm sure there are many things I have forgotten. Picture posts will come soon.

I got to Meet the Duggars!

2009-09-09T20:40:00.001-07:00

Okay, so not meet! (because I'm to chicken to go up and talk to them) But I did stand next to them and even brush shoulders with Michelle. And can I just say that Michelle is more beautiful and sweet in person than she is on TV! All the girls and Anna, Josh's wife, are wonderful. One of the little Duggar's served me in the concession when I purchased a bottled water to quench my thirst. Here's the kicker, remember the lady I discussed in my "Not Me" post, the one who let her newborn baby's head flop? She was in line behind me! Go figure! Anyway, she had her mother with her and they start chatting about the Duggar's (remember that Michelle is maybe a foot away from me at the time). Let's call the mother here Granny, since we know she is in fact a Grandmother. Well, Granny in her heavy smoker's voice says "How in the world did she have all them kids? How many kids does she have?"
I say: She has 18, and is pregnant with number 19.
Granny: Well, why in the world would they do that?
Me: Because that is their calling and it works well for them.
Granny: There is no way they can afford that many kids, what does the husband do?
Me: They are debt free and self sufficient, they get a long just fine. I'm not sure what Jim Bob does but I know they own several commercial real estate properties.
Granny: She's got to be old, how old are the kids?
Me: Michelle, the mom, is 42. Her oldest is in his mid 20's and the girl standing next to Michelle is Anna, that is her oldest son's wife.
Granny: I sure hope that is her first child, are you related to them?
Me: No not related, I just know about them from the news and their show.
Granny: They have a show?
Me: Yes, it's on TLC.
(mean while, what I assume is dad, calls and says that the baby is hungry. New Mom's response is just give her some formula, cause I'm not close to finishing)

In case you can't tell, I'm a fan of the Duggar's. I think that their show is a great witness for the Lord. It's not normal that a woman can carry that many kids to term so God's hand in her life is evident. How lucky or blessed rather, is she, she knows what God's plan is for her life. I'm 28 years old and don't know what God's plan is for my life. I know people are judgmental, just like I was judgemental towards that New Mom. That doesn't make it right. MckMama put it best when she said "Would we want to be judged because we don't have enough children?". No, I'm sure we wouldn't.

"Not Me" on Tuesday?

2009-09-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, that's me, the rule breaker!
First of all, I'm not writing this post on the wrong flippin' day in a week when MckMama isn't even hosting "Not Me Monday" because she is moving, nope, not me!

I did not just turn a dirty bib to the clean side to use for my daughter's supper time because I can't find or didn't do the bib laundry. I would never do something so heinous and disgusting (although it wasn't that dirty, but I didn't do it anyway:)
While dropping clothes off at GKS I did NOT frown and tear up when I saw a woman with a brand spankin' new baby in a sling, moving clothes and boxes all while the poor baby's head was floppin' all over the place. I was not judgemental and didn't want to scream "Pay attention to your baby's head for DARN sakes!"
I also would not occupy my daughter with my son's emergency vehicle toys so that I could put a load of laundry in the washing machine. That's not girlie enough so I wouldn't do it! LOL
In regards to my son's behavior and lack of apparent discipline, I have not resorted to a swat on the bare hiney, only to find out that it works SO well, and think "Why didn't I start this a LONG time ago.
Lastly, I'm not writing this while feeding my daughter and counting down the minutes until bed time. I would never count the minutes until I get a few blissful hours to myself! Maybe bed time will be earlier tonight!

8 Months tear

2009-09-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, she is 8 months old! I'm holding back tears as I write this blog. I know it's a few days late and NO I didn't forget that she turned 8 months. I've just been so busy and really tired. This past month has been a whirlwind of growth! So, Little M, what have you been up to?

You are truly all girl, just as your brother is all boy! You love to look pretty and always have a matching briarclaire clip for every outfit. Here you are with a new shipment.
You are scooty pootin all around the living room. Not crawling, just bouncing and scootin.
You are now accessorizing with glasses. Of course they are pink to match most of your wardrobe.
We love hearing your squeal with excitement. You also have many other noises, one that lets me know that your brother is picking on you. Already a tattletale.
You still wake up at least once at night, and that is okay by me, I love that time when it is just you and me.
You have the sharpest nails and I can't find anything to take care of it? (any ideas?)
You have your Papa completely wrapped around your finger.
You are eating three times a day with a snack and juice. Your also just nursing about 3 to 4 times in your waking hours. Just another reminder that your growing too fast.
You are a girl on the go! Whether out to eat, shopping, or to the park. You are such a happy baby when we are out and about. (I don't look forward to the winter season when our going slows down to save from germs)

Here's a little dress-up picture!

Little M,

You are such a blessing in my life. Every giggle, cry, and sigh melts my heart. I'm thankful that I'm able to stay at home with you and your brother (who is also growing too fast). I enjoy every moment with the two of you. I adore watching you grow, it's just going by to fast. But for now I will lose myself in your baby smell and hold you in the night all the while praying for your future.

Love,

Mom

Gorgeous in Glasses

2009-09-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

You may have heard....Little M needed glasses. It breaks our hearts that our 7 month old will have to wear glasses for a long while, maybe forever. But, she just makes it so darn cute!

She may not be good at sleeping (she still wakes up once or twice). She may not be a good pooper! But wearing glasses and looking cute, she does quite well! Where's the briefcase and business suit? I decided a while ago that I would not force her to wear her spectacles ALL day. I planned to start out with one hour and slowly work my way up to the whole day. But hey! She loves them. She donned this translucent pink accessory from 6 to 7:30 tonight. And she did it well, only touching them one time. Now, if I can keep her brother from pushing them up for her and leaving 4 year old prints on her glasses then we will be good to go.

Here are my glasses, my son's glasses, and her glasses! Can I just say what a nightmare glasses were for my son. It all started out with a doctor that didn't know what he was doing when it came to working with little ones. Turned out that his first pair of glasses were 10 times to strong for his little eyes! And I promise you that I am not embellishing that fact. Tears came to my eyes when Dr. Thomas from ACH told me that if I had forced him to wear them it would/could have caused permanent damage. Praise the Lord for 'Mother's Instinct'. A blessed gift from God that 'Instinct' is, even saving my son's life once. To God be the glory for the little mothering skill I possess.A girl after my own heart.

Disclaimer: I realize that my son is not often given face time on my blog. It's not because I don't adore him, but because the eye issues he has had (mainly the surgery) make it very VERY difficult to keep his eyes open when I take a picture. Our camera is just a point and shoot so I don't have any control over the flash.

I support you....

2009-08-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have this saying "I support you in your wants and needs". But how do you support someones wants and needs, when their wants will drive you to live off food stamps. I know its a male thing, but seriously.... After my walmart adventure yesterday where I spent more than I should have and didn't bring home much food, we had to sit down and have a 'talk'. That's not his words or my words, they are just words. I bought two unnecessary items at Walmart. 1) the movie Sandlot 2) a monster truck, HEY, I had to bribe B-man through the trip anyway.
My husband is a HARD worker. I've never met anyone who works harder than he does. He works full time as a Lead Liason Engineer (which means he carries a laptop and iphone so that he can handle issues on the go), on the weekends he drives an ambulance, and he is in school full time with Calculus, Chemistry, and Music Appreciation. He has one degree but he is going for another. I'm trying to support him but I need time to work it out. All the sudden I am a 'single' mother but at the same time I need to have a clean house, his clothes ready, dinner cooked for everyone by 6:30 and did I mention a clean house? I try and I mean really TRY to have things picked up when J gets home, but I live with a little TORNADO! My Tasmanian angel can demolish a room in 6 seconds flat. And this week has been extra hard!!! Remember when I blogged about how Little M always screamed, but then YAY, she can sit and play on her own and she is a happy camper. During the happy camper weeks I got things done and rooms cleaned, and dinner cooked.... NOW, Little M has decided that she's not happy with sitting and she wants to crawl. She's almost there, I'd say about 2 more weeks, but this means she does face plants and screams more. ALSO, she screams when I'm out of the room now. I'M LOSING MY MIND! B-man hasn't been a good listener and is all the sudden aggressive! So, during our talk about HIS (my husband's) wants and OUR needs, and why isn't the house clean and spotless for him. I lovingly said "Take a week off work and YOU figure it out, let me know how to do it, then I will" (but remember your on call that whole week to take care of a baby around the clock when she accidentally gets a hold of bananas) I give this ultimatum with confidence because right now, it CAN'T be done.
Can I just say that neither of us has any idea how hard the other one works!

Dr. D

2009-08-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

Little M had her eye doctor's appointment today in Tulsa. It went great! We love Dr. D, he had a soothing voice and was really easy and gentle with Little M. When we walked into the office it was bright yellow and at the entrance was their sign. The whole office is very kid friendly with animals tucked safely in aquariums, big screen TV's, huge fluffy pillows and the nicest staff! Sometimes you get staff that are grumpy and that was not the case. From the receptionist who took our co-pay all the way to the eye glass shop lady, everyone was so nice. They took the time to explain things to us and help us weigh options.

B-man will love it when we go back in 3 months! This time he and his Papa went and had ice cream and 'Emmy' (what he calls his grandma) and I stayed at the office. My in-laws were so incredible to take the day off and take me to Tulsa. They have been there through the beginning with our children and their eye conditions. I don't know why both of my kids have this condition, but I'm so thankful for family support.

I'm sure a LOT of you have the question of "How do they prescribe glasses to a baby?". Well, here it is. Each slot contains a different lens, and after Little M's eye's were dilated the Ophthalmologist carefully looked in each eye to view the optic nerve and how her eye focuses. This is where the doctor can rule out more serious things like Opticblastoma. After initial screening Dr. D had a pretty good idea of where to start with the lenses you see pictured. In addition to her far-sightedness she also has significant astigmatism which basically means the lens in her eye is bent in the shape of a football. She may grow out of this but for now she has to have glasses. I'm so thankful to be a stay at home mom right now because I will be able to work with her at keeping her glasses on her face.

Little M was so great and happy today. She really loves to be out and about. The only time she got fussy was when 'Point of View' eye glass shop was fitting her frames on her face. I'm hopeful that this was because she was so tired and just wanted to be left alone to sleep because that's what she did when they left her alone. Ha Ha. So, all you prayer worrier moms out there, please pray that I will have the patience to help her with the transition into glasses.

"Mom, wipe my bumm!"

2009-08-20T20:37:00.001-07:00

Oh, yes, I hear this at least twice a day and then proceed to wipe another little bumm on a changing table. B-man does wipe is bumm all by himself but in the spirit of efficiency and disdain for raw bottoms, mommy always checks. So, while on a play date today I was tending to my son when I noticed a perfect round circle on his bumm, pinkish in color and raised. Hmm. On his marry way he went and a little later a few more pinkish circle friends appeared. Then a few more and more and more. I'm talking Daddy sizes and baby sizes of little pinkish circles on face, back, bumm (as previously mentioned), arms, tummy (really bad on tummy) and legs. Just a few though, very mild. My mind is on auto pilot thinking of all the things he ate 'turkey dog, apple, banana, fruit snack, milk....' all things he's had before. We decided it must be something in the house, but what? we have been there before. Hmm. Then it clicks! Six days ago he received a MMR vaccination (just three years off schedule) DING DING DING. So, we called the doc and meanwhile more circles are popping up. As we left and went to my mother in laws the dr's office called. We determined it was a reaction and discussed next steps to watch for that are normal or danger signs. By the time I got to MIL's his rash had doubled. His bumm was now completely covered! And he was running a low grade fever. So much fun!
In short, we took him the to doctor to be safe and now he is in a deep sleep induced by benedryl. Our new little pinkish circle of friends will last up to TEN days. Oh yes, that will be fun to explain while we are out and about.

Bathtub Beauty's Eye Appointment

2009-08-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

Look closely at Little M's left eye, it turns slightly inward. This was a sign that I didn't recognize with B-man. All the signs were there for him but no one caught it. With hope and prayer we venture into treatment for the same thing with Little M. Today she was positively diagnosed with strabismus by my optamologist. He explained to me that she is severly far-sighted which means she works extra hard to see things up close. The doctor decided that it would be best for us to see a specialist because she is so young. We will be seeing a Pediatric Ophthamologist in Tulsa. Truly and honestly we are very blessed and I completely realize this. There are so many parents out there who would love to have only this problem, this simple diagnoses, strabismus. As much as I would like to wallow in self pity for what my daughter will have to go through to get through this; patches, glasses, drops, possible surgery.... so, tiny in the spectrum of things. How blessed I truly am, how wonderful my Plump Princess with her Chocolately Brown Eyes is. She will get through this and so will the rest of us. We caught it super early, for that I am hopeful that it can be corrected, the great thing about far-sightedness is that it is correctable! Being near sighted like myself is not correctable.

Little M was exhausted after a day at the eye doctor and lunch with Papa. She fell asleep like this while playing on the floor this afternoon. Sweet Little Girl, I love you so much.

By the way, Little M is 17lb 11oz at her last check up and 26 inches long. She is the 60th percentile for her weight and 30th percentile for her height. In other words, she is short and pleasantly plump.

Deliciousness and all its Glory

2009-08-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

I just had a delicious nap. My intention was to only lay down for a brief moment and take in the sound of silence and all it's glory. I listened to the soft tap of some unknown noise and was lulled into a delicious nap. I don't normally describe sleep using the same adjective that I might use to describe how I feel about Chili's. But delicious it was. I woke up totally filled, so delicious it should be. I was roused by the squeak of my son's door which informed me that he was well rested and ready to rejoin the world as well. Of course, I laid there perfectly still in hopes that I could steal just a few more moments of rest. Then a soft squeal came from my daughters room, she was also well rested now and ready to rejoin the world. So, here they are, two special gifts from God, enjoying each other in play.

While basking in my delicious nap, a dirty little something was looming over me. Well, not over me but in my kitchen. A dirty kitchen that desperately needs my attention.

I hesitate to post a picture of my dirty sink because only McKmama can make a dirty sink full of dishes look like a peice of Art. Remnants from last nights dinner begged to be washed away and paint from yesterdays adventure need to be placed in it's rightful spot as well.
This has truly been a wonderful weekend.

And now for a SPECIAL PRAYER REQUEST. Here is Little M! Completely opposite from her brother in every way but ONE. Her eyes, chocolately brown eyes, that need to be lifted in prayer. Like her brother, she is beginning to show signs of strabismus. We will be visiting on Tuesday morning to see if therapy will work to correct this. I'm hoping that we caught this early enough that it can be corrected without surgery. Although the surgery is not huge and shows no scars, like any mother, I don't want my baby to have to have surgery. B-man did well with his but did not do well with waking from anastesia.

Please pray that we caught this early enough that the strabismus can be treated non surgically.

Noticing a Cycle

2009-08-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, most of the time my little brown eyed chunky princess is a pretty good sleeper. She is strictly nursed (no formula) so, we do wake at least one time at night for a snack and then right back to sleep she goes. But ya'll I'm starting to notice a cycle. Maybe 'cycle' isn't the best word to use since it can be referenced to several other things in life so, I'll go with pattern. Yeah, a pattern. She sleeps really good, woo hoo, momma gets some rest and then once my body gets used to that great amount of sleep BAM! No more sleep for you momma because brown eyed chunky princess needs very little sleep and I do mean VERY little. You know what happens when momma doesn't rest? Well, I don't know about your body but mine does not like it! Mommy zombie takes my place and words start to slur. The other night I was sitting in the chair resting my weary head on my hand and I kid you not, my pinky finger startled me.
Alas this shall pass (ha) and she will be back to my good little sleeper. I'm hoping that at some point this pattern will cease and momma zombie will be gone forever. It all started when 'food' was introduced into her diet.
PS. I can't let her cry it out! I did some with my son. But now I just picture myself in a crib with very little function over my body while screaming my head off and NO one is coming. "Will I be by myself forever? No one loves me Waaawwwww" Yeah, not happening in this house. If I do have to let her cry I'm in there every 5 minutes. May explain why I'm so exhausted but I don't care. If she is up at night that is just time for me and her, no noise, no brother over the shoulder. Just me and my baby. My last baby.

The Bigger Picture

2009-08-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes (most of the time) I have trouble seeing the 'bigger picture' that is God's Plan. I pray and pray to see His plan, but truly I'm clueless.
This last year I applied for a transfer from the school I had been currently teaching. I have excellent references including that of my current principal and had even been asked to speak at a state conference! I truly LOVE teaching and was excited about this next step in my career. I went to interview after interview and would get feedback that the principals wanted me BUT nothing. No transfer. I was clueless until June 4th on my son's birthday when I found out I was pregnant! OOOhhhhh. I get it now, thank you Jesus for watching out for me. Because that pregnancy was high risk and I was taken off of work on October 17 at just 24 weeks pregnant. All of this we knew very early on and God was truly watching out for me, my family, and my school that I where I was teaching.
Time after time He reveals His plan and proves what I should already know and that is that His Plan is the only Plan and that is for the best.
I see it in other peoples lives! Just 2 weeks ago as Stellan was ultimately fighting for his life and he was to be airlifted to another hospital as his condition worsened for an emergency ablation. Insurance held things up and things 'looked' to be getting worse and then........a new combination of meds were found to work on Stellan's body that kept him out of SVT! Praise Jesus! Because an ablation is very risky on such a little 9 month old body.
So God, once again, please reveal to me the 'Bigger Picture' the ultimate plan, because as we work to sell our house, this happens...
But not before this happened....

That's right! As my husband and I were sitting in the Living Room we hear DOMMBBBB BOOOM. I looked at J and said 'Go outside, that wasn't thunder!' after a couple of minutes I when my husband hasn't returned to give me the okay, I put Little M down and go check things out as well. And here is what we found. Let me tell you that the pictures don't justify the damage this limb caused on my car, his old but not dented pick-up, and our garage door. AND this is only a piece of the limb! We haven't even looked on the roof of our house yet.

In the midst of other issues THIS happens. Seriously?? I'm ashamed (but yet only human) to admit that my initial reaction was that of an immature, backwoods, red-necked, can only find the most illiterate person to put on the news, uneducated idiot. I was in a rant "seriously, you have got to be kidding me, what the crap is this all about"! I confessed to my husband later that I was ashamed of my reaction and was once again reminded that I am not in control and there is nothing I could have done about this situation. Our neighbors are working out the insurance details being that it's not our tree.

But, I am thankful that it didn't go through our roof and harm anyone of my family. And I feel bad that my poor neighbor came home to THIS after 2 days of being out of town at a class. She is probably feeling the same way that I am. No one was hurt and the vehicles are still drivable. The rest will fall into place.

7 Months Old Already

2009-08-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

Where has time gone? She is 7 months old already! What have you been up to this past month Little M?

Your rolling over both ways but will do anything to stay off your BELLY!
You have been sitting up for about 3 weeks.
When you get really excited you squeal and laugh and sometimes topple over.
Today you have started lunging for stuff, not just reaching but LUNGING! You 'crawl' on your arms to get what you want which in turn rotates your body so that you belly and legs are on the floor and (insert diving sound effect) land on your nose. Poor baby.
Being that you dislike your belly so much, crawling will most likely happen from the sitting position.

You are sleeping in your own room and in your own crib and loving it.
We figured out after many sleepless nights that when you wake up and see darkness then you cry (loudly) thankfully daddy remembered the projector we got at a shower. With stars, cows, and sheep on your ceiling your a happy camper.
You wake up just once and then go right back to sleep after you eat.
You have been eating 'real' baby food for 1 month now and are now on 2nd foods.
You have finally gotten used to what that baby food does to your tummy.

Smiles and laughter fill our days as we watch you grow. Your daddy and I are sad at how fast this time is going.

Mommy finally got some 'girl' time with her best friend this month. You stayed with your daddy and Emmy and apparently fussed every time your eyes were open until I of course came to the rescue. But I have a feeling that you didn't cry the whole time because you love your Emmy and she does anything she can to get smiles out of her grand babies.

You are finally warming up to your daddy. Your face lights up when he's in the room and that just melts my heart. Poor daddy, he's putty in your hand and may not even know it.
You are so different from your brother. He HATED grass and today you couldn't wait to get your hands on it!
You are weighing 16lbs 13 oz and have not been sick one time! (knock on wood)

Sometimes, when I look into your eyes you give me this smile that could save the world. Tears rush to my eyes out of nowhere and at that moment nothing else matters. Little M, we love you more than anything. You and your brother bring us joy everyday. Thank you for coming into our lives, the Lord has truly blessed us. And everything else will fall into place.

2009-07-31T19:45:00.000-07:00

Little M is nearly finished with her Level 1 foods. So, I'm stocking up on Level 2 foods from none other than Gerber. I wish I had the patience and the time to make her baby food but alas, I don't, Gerber to the rescue. I probably coulda...shoulda, woulda with B-man but I didn't make baby food with him either. I'm one of those manic mother's (maybe the only one) that goes by the book when it comes to feeding. IT's crazy how much I have forgotten in 4 years since B-man was a baby. While picking up some Level 2 baby food a tear came to my eye when I saw that she would be starting meats. Not because we are vegetarian or anything. But, simply because she is growing up too fast. It's just going way to quickly.

I'm so surprised that the ORGANIC food is about 50 cents more than baby food that is not organic. It really costs that much more to NOT use pesticides? But really, if it's not coming from my own personal garden (I'm ashamed to say I don't have one) then how organic is it really, I mean, seriously!

Look who is finally liking Great Grandma! Little M is doing so many things on her own now that I think she is much happier. Since she has discovered this new found independence we get more down around the house and hear many more giggles. Her favorite thing is to look in the mirror and laugh.

B-man is once again enjoying 'school' with mommy. And can I just say that my son is the most difficult student ever. He just gets something in his head and won't let it go. He seems to have an aversion to vowels. He has no problem with consonants though. I do think his eyes are hindering his learning. (He can't see up close real well) But we have since hired a 'tutor' aka M&Ms. Get the letter, get an M&M, win WIN!

Here is what the end of the day looks like. B-man had just come in from hours of helping daddy mow and Little M is pooped from sitting up so long. So, both are chillaxin and watching the ever so popular Baby Einstein!

New to our house! COOKING MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK! Most of you probably read Kelly's Korner and My Charming Kids but I recently read a great post from the Pommerville's at their blog. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

Fun with Friends

2009-07-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Saturday was my best friend's birthday! This is her sweet girl Hailey, who has been begging to hold Little M since she was born. Finally, she got to hold her while we were over at her house. Isn't she great! Hailey is a girl after my own heart. I love her soo much!

She played with Little M while the brothers played with trains, planes, music, automobiles..... You should see my best friend's house, it is full of wonderful toys! Never a boring moment!

B-man played and played and played and played. In one part of the house we had kids playing in the music center, then with trains, baby toys in another part, and then the adults got out the Karaoke machine. Time to hide!!! LOL. Stephanie is a great singer, me?, not so much.

Life really can't get much better than this, happiness was emanating from each corner of the house.

Did I mention that Little M is sitting up on her own? Notice the pillows? Just a precaution. Hailey had a great time playing with Little M and she was doing a great job making sure she didn't fall backwards. But at one point Little M got a little tired of holding herself up and she did a nose dive. Poor Hailey looked absolutely horrified! She said "I didn't know she could fall forward". Of course, Little M was perfectly fine, it just scared her a little. Hailey was more hurt than Little M. She is a very responsible and caring girl and it broke her heart. It may have been my best friend's birthday but it was one of the best days I'VE had in a long time.

PS. Please click on the link to your right 'Praying for Stellan'. He's a precious 8 month old that needs our prayers.

No Pictures

2009-07-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

This is a No Picture Post. Why? Well, my camera is sittin in seat of my husbands car and I'm all showered up and lazzied down for the night.
Today has been a day! Not bad, not good, just a day! Ok, yes, it was good because I was with my two beautiful children, and my awesome Grandma (my kids Great Grandma) and it was bad because well, let me just say here, that this is my free theraputic session so that I don't have to resort to the prescribed meds. (yes, I've been prescribed meds, jaw-dropping I know!)
Yesterday something happened to me that hasn't happened in over 6 months. It's painful and mood altering and just plain ole NO fun. I fell asleep on the couch for over 3 hours in the middle of the night, only to wake at 5:30 to my son saying "mom, my head hurts". Poor baby has terrible Arkansas allergies. So when he went back to sleep, he slept until 10:00, to bad Little M didn't have the same idea. At 6:30 this morning I received a disturbing email from a disturbed friend (ex-friend). So, that got me all fired up, and again made me think of my 'Mercy' post. Unfortunately my temper got the better of me, how great it felt though. But Oh how repentive I feel now. After this I was compelled to thank all my wonderful friends who are wonderful mommies and just great people. I'm really very blessed. One special friend said that my 'love text' came a perfect time. I called her up to see what was wrong and found out her Grandpa had been killed in a house fire that morning. You may have seen it on the news. This made my heart heavy for her and her family.
Then I got a call for a certain wireless carrier that we have been with for 7 years wanting to know where their money was. Ummm, where is my bill? We have never been turned off for failure to pay. I called said wireless company who have been sold to another wireless company and could NOT get a hold of a flippin human! Result: new wireless company, new phone, smaller bill, and REAL people to talk to. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Probably not since there are NO humans that work there. What about the network full of people wearing gray and red?
So much fun all packed into one day, and that was only part. But my husband is home from his walk so, I think I'll talk to someone who can talk back now. Love all 10 of you that read this:) Night Night.

A Day of Digression

2009-07-20T08:28:00.001-07:00

Today is a day of Digression!
Here's the skinny:

My daughter has digressed in her ability to sleep through the night, she is now waking up every blissful 2 to 3 hours. Most of the time she goes right back to sleep, except at 5:30, although she's learning! Because, for all things that are holy, Little M, we are NOT waking up at 5:30 in the morning after waking all night to be fed and cuddled.
Little M did a great job sitting up on her own for most of the day yesterday. Today, she is like a limp noodle, several times taking a dive in attempt to do a face plant. But not to worry, mommy was there to catch you.
B-man has tried to digress! Key word TRIED. Things like grunting or making a noise to get what he wants. UH NOOOOOO! We will use our words in this house or you won't get what you want!
B-man has also resorted to putting his hands in his mouth. Every time I turn around it seems like his fingers are in his mouth. Then last weeks he comes down with a slight cold. GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH SON!
My husband has digressed in his ability to pick up his own flippin clothes and place them in the laundry basket. As consequence, I have digressed in the ability to pick up said clothes. I have 2 kids to pick up after, while doing laundry, cooking 3 meals a day, cleaning bathrooms, wiping bumms, taking out the trash, flushing toilets after the use from 2 others in this house, all the while attempting to manage my Little M who thinks she needs mommy at apparently ALL hours of the day.

A domestic goddess I am not! As a matter of fact if I were employed my Merry Maids I would have been fired. Have a great MONDAY!

A Love Like No Other

2009-07-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

This is the first time B-man met Little M, up until this point he had only seen her through glass, and that was just once.
I've really struggled with what to name this post, I wanted it to be something to invite a reader in but also to jog my memory when my memory is nearly gone. (at this rate it could be any day, I put milk in the cabinet for Pete Sakes)
The most surprising thing about my two children is the bond they have formed. I, of course, hoped they would love each other, but I never imagined what it would really be like. And I'm not even sure I can put it into words. But I'm going to try.
B-man met Little M when she was six days old for the first time. It was frigid here in the greater Arkansas area as I waited for my husband to bring my son. He walked in bundled from head to toe in his red (firehouse) coat. "Hi MOMMY, is that my sister? Do we get to take her home?" First of all, imagine being his age and Mommy disappears, not once, but twice, and the second time mommy's belly is gone and there is a little baby sitting in her lap. Plus, he hadn't seen me in a while. He was so great, wanting to love and hug (of course we had to limit that) and no question that she was ours.
So, yeah, he loved her BUT she really LOVES him. Just this morning we were playing cars on B-mans playmat, she was in her lilac Bumbo, he was zooming below with all his cars. Little hands grabbed at the funny looking colorful things and he didn't flinch. "Here you go sis." Her eyes intent on his every move, darting to and fro.
She gets her hands on him every second she can and she literally jumps for joy when he gets near.

From the very beginning her interest in her brother have amazed me. It's a wonderful blessing to say "Honey, talk to your sister while mommy loads the dishwasher." Of course she loves and watches me, that goes without saying. But I'm just her food source compared to her brother. Just tonight, B-man came in while I was nursing her before bed "Mommy, can I hug sister." and that's when I saw it, another glimpse of what I hope and pray will last. In the dark of our living room, Little M stops nursing and turns to her brother, they look at each other and hug, then a gentle kiss to the top of her head. (Oh my, I feel a tear coming on) "Night Mommy, I love you. Love you to siss. Awe, mommy, she's so sweet *kiss*"

Will this last? I sure hope so! Because I've never seen anything like it!

My wonderful children. A Love Like No Other

It's that time of summer

2009-07-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo! My favorite summer show is back! I love this crazy show for some reason. I've always thought that this show was like high school all over again, and well, that's just part of the twist. You've got the athletes, popular, brains, and the outcast. (they call it something else but not so sure what) Bonus: one casts member or contestant got to come back from a previous season. Guess who? Non other than Jesse. Let me tell you, I didn't like him the first time around and he's back plus 20lbs of muscle more. PLEASE, someone vote him off or back door the infamous Jesse.
I'm not sure who I'm going for yet, but I'm loving the teacher for obvious reason and not because I have a crush on someone 12 years my senior. I also like the lab girl Michelle. Who do you think will win? Or who do you like?

39 Minutes

2009-07-09T20:41:00.001-07:00

Nap time was spent in our crib (not home, actual crib) as 'practice'. Practice for night time. Her nap only lasted 39 minutes! When she woke up and realized where she was at, well, nap time was over. Against all the reservations on my con's list, I went ahead and decided to have her sleep in her crib. This decision was made after a very rough night that led us to the doctor today. She wouldn't go back to sleep after her feedings. (several nights running) This drastic change from sleeping all night and only waking once for a quick feeding to waking every 2 hours and NOT going back to sleep had me concerned. Then she started rubbing and pulling on her right ear, that had me wondering if maybe there was something going on. I called the doc, told them about the change and they agreed that she needed to be seen. Well, my little 17 lb girl got a clean bill of health, now I don't feel so bad about letting her cry a little bit. So, as I blog she is asleep in her crib.

She was SO tired from many sleepless nights and the fussing at nap time that she passed out on me at about 6 o'clock. I maneuvered my camera with my foot and then reached so I could catch this picture. (gotta love the Santa pants) She didn't move an inch, my girl was pooped!

For now, Little M sleeps. I really want her to sleep peacefully and unstressed so that she can wake up a happy baby in the morning. As I always tell my son "growing only happens when your sleeping, so, I just want to hear your growing body".

Sweet Dreams

Weighing the Pros and Cons

2009-07-08T19:30:00.000-07:00

As you know Little M is 6 months old. What you may not know is that she still sleeps next to my side of the bed in her bassinet. I know in my heart that the time is coming for her to move to her own bed. My grandma asked me today "What are the pros and cons?" And of course I listed them off pretty darn quickly. Here they are:

Pros:

My husband would sleep better

She is growing out of her bassinet, her crib has more room

She will gain more mobility

Cons:

I'm still nursing and it's so much easier for me to nurse her quickly and put her back down

We have a split floor plan and I'm not comfortable having her so far away from me

(Bear with me, if you know me, you know this is just me and typical: paranoia)

The very thought of not being able to reach over and check on her just pains me

I don't have a rocking chair in her room and it will be difficult to feed her at night without waking her up to much

I worry about her big brother going in there and trying to help me out by attempting to bring her to me

I'm not looking forward to her having all that mobility because that's when I have to start worrying about other things

Here's the really stumper; I wasn't this way with my son. I also wasn't able to nurse him and he started sleeping through the night at 3 months. J remembers letting him cry it out several times, but for some reason I don't. I do remember letting him cry more than what I let her cry. He's just as special as she is but for some reason it bothers me so much more.

I'm thinking about this next week putting her down for naps in her crib and then the next week moving her to it at nights. I'm sure I'll make a pallet in the floor for the first couple of nights so that I don't bother J with the monitor and all the crying. Bonus though, we have a highly specialized monitor with special powers (Ha) so, I'll know her every movement.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN LET ME INTRODUCE TO YOU....

2009-07-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

A PICKY EATER!!!!!!

I can't believe this is happening! Honestly! How did my baby girl get to be 6 months old? At about 5 months old we started cereal. Woo Hoo~ Rewind a month, we tried it then too. She hated it! Back to the present, well, she's still not crazy about it. Ha! (so many exclamation points!!!) Anyway, we stuck with it and now we've moved to the oatmeal, because I'm a Gerber mom I walk through each step as recommended. I also think babies should come with a handbook, but since they don't, I have chosen my own handbook that I purchased before our son was born and still use today, the updated version of course. My handy dandy handbook doesn't recommend the Gerber way per say, but it's close, so, that's how I do it. And of course I use more experienced moms like my Sis and BFF.

Well, it wasn't my plan to use any juice until much later, but, my daughter's tummy has a different plan. After church Sunday, Little M and I were playing when she decided it was time to well, do her business. But what a horrid surprise to my baby girl when it has much different than all her other BMs. My son had horrible constipation but this was nothing like that, it was just different for her and wasn't very comfortable. I won't go into all the details but I ended up calling our pediatrician's office for some advice. Of course we were transferred to the Children's Hospital Help Line. When we got the call back Little M's problem had passed and been trashed. I described to the ACH nurse what happened and the she told me I could give her 6 ounces of pear or apple juice, something else (I stopped listening after the juice thing when I realized she was reading from a manual), and then I could also use a suppository as a last resort. Click, now to someone that knows what they are doing, ring ring! Ahh, the familiar voice of my BFF! So, I decided after listening to her wisdom and going with what I already know that I would give her 1 oz of water (nursery water) and 1 oz of juice.

So far, so good! No anaphylactic shock or any other allergic reaction. Little M gave me this look of horror like I was trying to poison her with this foreign liquid when I first gave it to her. Now, though, she likes it, sort of...

Little M has also been introduced to bananas (didn't really like) and today sweet potatos (didn't really like). Are you seeing a parenthasy trend? Hopefully she will decide she likes it after the end of her 3 day introduction period. Ladies and Gentleman...WE HAVE A PICKY EATER ON OUR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Your 6 Months Old!

2009-07-04T20:26:00.001-07:00

Oh My, I just Might Cry While Writing of the Months Gone By!

Little M, you are 6 months old! What have you been up to?

You only sleep through the night every once in a while and have recently taken to talking while in your bassinet. (When we move she will be going to her own room)
You have just started your second cereal, oatmeal! You enjoy your cereal twice a day.
Your first 'food' was yesterday and it was organic bananas; You hated it! But you decided to enjoy it just tonight after I mixed it with your oatmeal. I'm hoping to repeat this in the future.
You really enjoy being held by your momma! Daddy understands why momma doesn't have a sparkling house when he gets home, because he knows what happens when you get put down.
You are the most happy when you are being talked to by anyone, especially your brother.
You love LOVE being out and about especially shopping at the mall, Target, and Walmart!
We are not sure how much you weigh because your doctor's appointment got rescheduled by the doctor's office, we will find out at the beginning of August.
You are rolling over now from your tummy to your back, but only when I'm not looking. Ha!
You have been going to the church nursery for two weeks now! It's great knowing that your happy with my friends that love you and like to see you smile.
When the camera is on, your smile is off, but the second I put the camera down you grin at me. Awnry little girl:) That's why all your photos you have this 'vogue' look plastered on. Hmm, future model maybe?

Little M is amazing every single day, even when she is screaming! My mom says I was the exact same way and I'm paying for my raisin'! I am and was a really good kid, I made good and bad choices. Thankfully my bad choices were short term and my good choices were long term! My parents really lucked out! Ha Ha.

Where oh where could my camera be?

2009-07-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

My camera is still missing. I have no idea why it sprouted legs and ran off. I don't feel like I've been abusing it and doesn't it realize how blessed it is for getting to take pictures of 2 wonderful children everyday. I thought about doing a missing poster complete with picture and reward but, well, how do you take a picture of your camera with your camera? I'm now in a bit of a panic. Little M is turning the big 6 tomorrow (months that is) and she has the most adorable 4th of July dress and I really want to take a picture of that. It was last seen in the living room of our home and was taking pictures of my kiddos together. This is going to sound really bad, but I offered my son one dollar if he could find our missing camera. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe he took it and decided to hide it (not my little angel:) But....no such luck! Tomorrow I'm headed to my in-law's in a last ditch effort to find it, because I do believe we were getting ready to leave for their house when I last had it. I have yet to petition our Heavenly Father for such a request like, "Lord, please help me find my camera so I can have the memory of my Little M's 6 month birthday". But I am almost there. So, for all of you 7 people that may or may not read this, if you find my camera let me know or better yet, if you have the extra cash and just want to bless us with a new point and shoot camera, well, I'll accept that too!
Happy 4th!

Raina's Retreat

Rough Day

Summer Time

A month to Share

LOL

Goals for May

"Can I pick a flower Mom?"

Going for a Drive

Remember When?

Better than Planned

Can and Can't

What Next?

Leightyn's Lifesong

The Sneaky One

Lazy, Crazy, Lovely Dayz

Long Time

Full Circle

Kelly's Korner!

Update

Grateful

Sickness

Had Another Good Day

Not Me Monday...A little early

4 am

What I don't want my kids to know.

Advice Costs Less

Blast from the Past

Random Thoughts

Flutter Flower

Flowers

Positve Glimmer

Bridges Burned!

Do they Know?

More Good

Kindergarten

Who?What?When?Where?How?

Homework Flashbacks

The First Day

Leightyn

And it strikes AGAIN!

Never try to HIDE a cookie

Not Much

Sweet Collin

Superpower

Busy Busy but coming Together

Flooded House

Trip to NWA

Easter Eggs and other Smiles

New Friends

Great

Meloncholy

Hair Do

Emergency Prayers

What in the World is going on?

Sick Baby Girl

January Birthday

Finley Family Prayers

New Addition to Our Family

Lent

Sick Day

Memory Loss

Just When you Think

The Culprit

Birthday Girl

Collin Marsh

New Years Resolutions

Christmas Wish List

Night of Praise

Contagious Laughter of an 11 month old

Grandma's Travels

Killing Time

Two Months to go and you'll be a One Year Old!

First Impressions

A New Series

Long Time

I got to Meet the Duggars!

"Not Me" on Tuesday?

8 Months *tear*

Gorgeous in Glasses

I support you....

8 Months tear